broke up yesterday :(
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broke up yesterday :(
| Fri, 06-17-2005 - 4:56am |
My boyfriend and I were together for almost a year and a half. Everything was wonderful basically. I'm 23, he's 25. The problem is that i want to get married and have kids in like 3-4 years. That's too soon for him. He wants to be in a band and play music and go on tour....so he broke up with me to do that. I'm just so hurt because we'd talked about getting married, and I thought we could bring together what he wants and what I want and make it work. I really would be so happy to spend my life with him. I am just torn. I know that's been his dream for years, and I would never ask him to give it up, but I didn't realize that it was so much more important to him than I am. He thinks if we stayed together, it would just end up a mess eventually because we want different things. Although, in the long run, we want the same thing. I don't know what to do. I've never lost someone that I was still in love with and still wanted to be with. Today is the first day since we started dating that I didn't talk on the phone to him. I dont' know how to just suddenly not have him involved in my life, because he was such a big part of it. We got along so well and he would have been a great husband and father. I'm afraid no one will compare. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I just laid here sad all day. I know he's scared of growing up and missing out on something. I just hope he'll realize that you can't find what we have just anywhere. I know a lot of you have probably been through the same thing. Lemme know if anything made you feel better. Thanks.

Going out a lot and doing things that you've always wanted to do but never really had time to do always helps. In fact a massive thing that helps is friends...............just go out with your friends as much as you can and give people a call that you may have lost contact with since you were with your boyfriend.
You may even meet somebody new....................Oh and pamper yourself,get a haircut (if you want!)get your nails done,buy some nice clothes (if you can afford it!I cant!) Read books watch loads of movies that helps too cos your mind is absorbed in something else.Oh and you really have to try and eat cos that just makes everything worse,make yourself a fruit drink or something, something thats easy to digest as I know too well that anything more will just make you want to puke!
Dont drink too much alcohol cos that just makes everything seem 100 times worse.......im a bit of a hypocrite on that one as I think I may be a bit of an alcholic at the moment! ;) Dont listen to love songs either cos it will have a really bad effect,maybe listen to some man hating songs!
Basically just keep busy busy busy...............a drastic step is to just pretend they are dead.It sounds worse then you think the reason I sometimes try and pretend my ex is dead is cos even if you wanted to contact them you really cant because they are no were around and you just HAVE to get on in your life without them (and in a way he is dead in my life because he just isnt around anymore)
I dont mean to sound weird about the dead thing...........maybe its because i am recently bereaved that I am comparing it to that.
Also try and see it as a good thing that you have broken up.....things happen for a reason and maybe something will happen to you that would never have happened if you would have stayed with him.
For example when I found out my ex cheated on me I went away and I met friends that I would have never of met if he didnt do what he did....people that I will stay in contact with forever.So for every bad thing that happens something good will come out of it.
Whatever you do just dont stay at home by yourself and think about it too much........I did that and nearly went crazy.I know its so hard but just try the best you can to do stuff.Be Strong xxxxxxx
I have since just tried to get my life back together. I have so many things going on that it is easier not to think about it at this point. If you need to talk you can always email me msblueyzz@yahoo.com
I figure since we are in the same situation...Good Luck!
I guess I'm not too much help to you right now, because I still haven't figured out anything that'll make me feel better...I sat up alone all last night, watching movies and crying. I don't feel like eating, even though I'm hungry. I guess the only thing that makes me feel better is the fact that I didn't just let him dump me then leave, I made him stay and really told him exactly how I feel. I made him admit that he was just taking the easy way out, because he was bailing on me when things were going to get difficult for us, and instead of dealing with the hard times he takes the easy route and dumps me. And I feel good about not taking any cheap shots at him and putting him or his band down. I feel like the bigger person, the more mature person, whereas he came across as very immature and childish. I'm really sorry to hear you're hurting, and I don't know if any of this rambling has helped you, but I just had to get this all off of my chest. I hope you start to feel better soon. Take care.
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and I am absolutely devastated...If you want the details of that read my other post. It's actually quite funny because I was just telling someone that I can't understand why the relationships that everyone thinks will fail end up working out and the one's people think will never end do. My boyfriend and I had the latter kind of relationship--crazy in love--always kissing, saying "i love you" and missing eachother as soon as we leave eachother's sight, but it didn't work out.
I feel like my heart has been ripped out, as I've only had one other significant relationship (when I was in highschool) and this is the first person I've truly loved and has truly loved me.
In addition, the thing about how boys can only focus on one thing at a time and can't be in a relationship unless they've made something for themself...My mom told me that the first time my boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. She said that boys want "all their ducks in a row" before they get too serious and with the case of your boyfriend, maybe he just feels that his won't be in a row until he's tried the whole "being in a successful band thing" and with mine, well, he'll be a senior in college this fall and maybe he's just nervous about what will happen after he graduates as there aren't many teaching jobs available where we live and I will still have a year left after he graduates....
No matter what though, it's hard and I'm miserable, just like everyone else who's ever been broken up with. It hurts an insane amount to think that you have a future together and then things end without you even knowing whether you will stay in contact at all.
If you need anyone to talk to, you can talk to me, because I need people too. Friends are fantastic but they always take our side when there's a break up and say nasty things about our exes when we still love them and can't bear to hear them. Personally, I can't be mad at my ex because he did it for the both of us--he wasn't happy anymore in our relationship and it was affecting both of us--he did the honorable, but extremely hard thing by breaking up.
Oh, one last thing: I think that younger guys just get bored so easily that when things get too serious they start to wonder what else is out there again...as much as they love us, they can't help it. I may be lying to myself about that, but as one of my friends put it "Younger guys want things that are fresh and new....not super serious". I don't think that either of us did anything wrong or anything, women are just able to be satisfied with stuff like that more easily, I guess, and guys just have a hard time expressing stuff to us because they love us and don't want to hurt us, and I'm sure the way they feel is hard for them to accept sometimes too.
Sorry for rambling, but I'm a receptionist and since it's father's day, no calls are coming...if I sit for too long I'll start to think about him...
It's nice that you've decided you can get him back, but be careful because it's hard to keep yourself from not being afraid that he'll end it again. After my boyfriend broke up with me the first time I was devastated and when he came back I was extatic, but then came the reality that it could happen again.
I'm not going to lie, if my ex were to call me right now and say he wants to get back together, although I'd be skeptical, I would probably do it. Then again, maybe not....I don't know....I just don't want you to think that things are going to be completely peachy just to have the rug pulled out from under you again.
Let me know how things turn out.
Laur
Hi,
Dont you know that you will cramp his style when he becomes big and famous and is surrounded by groupies. PLEASE!!! I agree with you, he should be able to merge both goals together. I hope things will work out for you. I think you should look for someone more grounded and has things in place already.
Good Luck!
~Lisa L