Broken up for 2 wks now...communication?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
Broken up for 2 wks now...communication?
3
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 9:10pm
I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years 2 weeks ago basically because our relationship was at a standstill and I was getting kinda bored. I love him more than anything but we are not that great of communicators and I didnt think talking about it would really do anything so I thought breaking up with him was my last resort. The week after I did it I was miserable and we talked that week and I asked him to give me a second chance. He said he couldnt just jump back into the relationship a week later but he suggested that we get together next week and talk again. Should I look at this as a good sign? This past week has not been as bad and I have given the relationship some thought and I still want to make this work. I know we both love each other but I just dont know what to say to him when we talk this week. Do you think I should give it more time? I am afraid the more time I give it, the eaiser it will be for him to move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 11:17pm
i dont think that just because you get bored that you should break up with someone, and just throw your love for each other away. but i know all too well how you are feeling. i was with a man, and we broke up 7 times...but each were just about a day or two. and what i have learned it that sometimes we do get scared and nervous...and sometimes we do make choices on impulse or irrationally....but sometimes, you just have to swallow your pride. and sometimes, you have to allow yourself to be put into suck a vulnerable position. and expect the worst, but dont give up hope on what could be. if you get hurt, you knew it was a possability. if things work out, you should have had faith that your love for each other would prevail. if you two truly, deeply love each other, things will work themselves out....i really believe that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Mon, 01-15-2007 - 11:51pm

Hello there. I saw your posting and I think it is a good sign. It is never easy with quick decisions, as I have made them myself as well. My ex g/f wanted to "do her own thing" 10 months ago and I still I miss her.

If you have a chance, and you love him, and he is open to hearing you out, then go or it with all you got. That way you will never regret later on the frightful question of "only if I did..."

I have been there and trust me, it is not worth the pain.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Tue, 01-16-2007 - 11:52am

I thought I posted this yesterday and I just noticed that my response wasn't there...

I would like to give you something to think about...

1. No relationship will be exciting all the time.
2. If there are fundamental issues where you differ - you MUST have enough respect for the other person to ASK them about those issues. DO NOT TEST them to find out how they feel. Most likely your perception will be WRONG.
3. If you really want it to be over, be honest with him. Tell him WHY. Do not couch it in words that have no meaning and lead to more questions.

I'm sorry... but ending a relationship because of boredom will hurt you later. You will always ask yourself if this was the right thing to do and you will never have closure yourself.

I wish you the best... but trust me... being on the other end of the break up and having someone tell me that there are issues, when our relationship was good so far as I knew... HOLY COW.

Here, I thought he was getting ready to ask me to marry him and he was trying to find a way out.

-sigh-

honesty. communication. Those are the two things that matter the most.