broken up after 2 years!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
broken up after 2 years!
3
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 6:13pm
my boyfriend and i just broke up yesterday, it's been numerous amounts of things that have led up to it. He can be a very selfish person, never asking me what i want to do. yesterday when i got home from work him and his buddies wanted to go to the beach so we walked there. i had forgotten my wallet at home so i asked him if he had his card on him, which he did, when we go to the liquor store he got what he wanted not even asking me what i would like knowing that i had no money. When i told him that that had upset me, he told me he just assumed that i was going to have some of his roommates beer since he got an 18 pack. I told him that it was not his friends responsibility but he should have asked me what i wanted. So then he got upset at me and left me laying at the beach while he stood a whiles away talking to another group of friends. i did not even realize he was gone till i looked up and notice that he wasn't standing there anymore, when i confronted him about it he told me he had the right to leave since i was treating him like an a**hole. which i was just laying there trying to tan. he called me later telling me that he was pissed off that i was treating him the way that i did. He is always turning things around on me and making me feel bad. i just ended up telling him that we needed to take a break. he did not call me at all till the next morning, he ended up apoligizing, but i told him we can't be doing this anymore, he never realizes when he's hurt my feelings and everytime i bring an issue up with him, he's telling me that i'm just doing that to break his balls! I just told him that we need to take a break and think about things. i still love him and am still very much in love, i just can't let him keep doing this to me. he had called so i called him back, when he picked up i asked if he had called and he said no, and then proceeded to tell me that i should come pick up my things while he's at work today.I'm so confused, so hurt. I dont' know what to do. Should i stand my ground and not call him and see if he calls me? it would be so much easier if he was not still in love with him. Please help!!!i don't know what to do anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 05-01-2006 - 10:42pm

:: He is always turning things around on me and making me feel bad.

If that's how you feel, then no matter how long you have been together, breaking up may be the best thing in the long run. You will have to take time to heal and grieve. This may be the way he is, unthinking, inconsiderate of your feelings and situations, then when you point it out, he takes offense, becomes angry and defensive, blames you to justify his behavior and choices.

Sorry you had to experience this.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 8:25am

Be STRONG and do what you know you need to do. don't continue on with something that is unhealthy. not that you can't be wih this person sometime down the road but for now you need to walk away especially since you seem to know this already. i know it's easier said than done but in the end it's whats best. guys have a way with not seeing what they have when they have it...they see it when it's gone and that is just unfortante...for them because when they "get it" we will have moved on because we are stronger than they think. we as women give and give...almost to a fault. give yourself limits when it comes to him so you don't allow his behavior to affect you in such a way. i know what your feeling because i too am going through it and as much as i love him i don't like him right now...i don't like his actions. i would NEVER allow a friend or family member to treat me this way so why should we let him? we shouldn't so walk away...at least for now...stay STRONG!

Best of luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2006
Tue, 05-02-2006 - 1:05pm
Thank you for all the advice!I spoke to him today, i've realized i love him so so much and i don't want to lose him. He calls me teling me how much he loves me. I've explained to him that i wanted us to take a break not break up! But when i asked him today he told me that we were broken up and that it's fair game. for example if a girl was to ask for his number or he gets a girls number i have no right to be mad. We were supposed to just take a break and think about things, you know like realize how important we are to one another. I'm so hurt by that! He was trying to explain that it's not like he's going to be out there trying to sleep with all the girls that come his way and that i was the one he wanted to marry, but we can't keep fighting like this. I told i don't want to fight either that was my point from the beginning. He wants me to prove it to him that i won't keep getting so mad a him everytime, and that he doesn't believe me right now. Should i just let him have his space and see how things go? i don't want to lose him and i def. dont' want him to sleep with anyone else! What should i do? i know we need a break but i did not want us to BREAK UP! Please help any advice right now is great. I've cried and cired and i just can't think straight. it would be so much easier if i was not in love with him anymore. Should i just let him be by himself and stop calling?