broken engagement-
Find a Conversation
broken engagement-
| Sun, 12-05-2004 - 9:42pm |
I was in a relationship on and off for two and a half years basically because of lack of commitment. Early this year we got back together because weboth realized that we love each other and has decided to move in together and finally got engaged. Two months ago, we broke up or should I say he decided to break up with me before I can break it off with him. The problem was we were fighting a lot and he claims that it's my bad and uncontrollable temper that he could not handle anymore. I agree with him that I do have a temper and I have been trying so hard to curb it down. He has a temper too but he has managed to control it and be patient with me. I do not understand myself. I love this man with my whole heart. I am in my late thirties and this is the closest I ever came to considering marriage with anybody. My unhappiness in the relationship stemmed from the fact that he has three little kids and the fact that they have no discipline and no structure and it took a toll on me. I have one kid(single parent and I raised him by myself) but my kid is nothing compared to how these kids are being raised by their divorced parents. His lifestyle (constant parties and extravagant spending)bothered me and the fact that his financial situation is in shambles and his career is in a downward spiral. Because I am frustrated by the whole situation, the only way for me to manifest it to him is through my bad temper. I have said a lot of hurtful and insulting words and he has done the same to me because of anger. I will admit that he has been very patient with me because of my behavior but I do not know why I can't control myself. I am not a materialistic type of person and honestly, I do make a good living but I guess my frustration is coming from the fact that we have very opposing views as far as child rearing and finances are concerned. I love this man and I know that his financial problems are just circumstancial. Did I do the right thing by leaving the relationship or did I give up too easily? Is there hope for a situation like this or am I living life with him in rose-coloured glasses? In my heart, I want to give it another chance (4th time already)and maybe go to counselling but he refuses to talk to me now and is very angry. I know that he still loves me and misses me and I the same but pride is keeping us from working on it. Should I pursue this or should I just move on? I am hurting. I miss him and I am so miserable. I don't know if I made the right decision. Will I ever get over this heartache and this loneliness? We are not even friends..
Edited 12/5/2004 9:52 pm ET ET by jewellbabe2004
Edited 12/5/2004 9:52 pm ET ET by jewellbabe2004

I'm sorry for the pain you're going through, but sometimes love just isn't enough. In fact, I think that's true more often than not. You need love, of course, but you also need compatibility, and that is something the two of you do not have. You have opposing views on two of the most important things in a r'ship, child rearing and finances. Even if you were able to overcome your anger issues, those problems would still not go away.
I think your wisest course of action would be to go to individual counseling to work on your temper (because that will be an issue for you in any r'ship), and also on dealing with accepting that this r'ship is not meant to be.
Sheri