broken engagement and moving on
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| Tue, 06-06-2006 - 3:14pm |
My finace recently broke off our engagement and brought our 7 year relationship to an end. Ive been devastated and heart broken for over a month now. she took a new job that requires her to relocate to an old city we lived together in. Im heading to a different city. i had hoped we could work out our problems but she wasnt interested. she said she had been to unhappy for too long, that i didnt give her the space she needed, did to much for her but didnt provide the empathy she wanted from me.
after making some headway in accepting our new fates, i was recently crushed when i was helping her move some boxes out of our old apartment into a temporary place where she is staying before she moves out of town. she had just returned from a business trip and i noticed condoms that had fallen out of her luggage bag and were lying on the floor. i asked her about it and she said it was a result of poor judgment, that it was a rebound reaction, that nothing was going to come of it. im totally curshed by this. she had made clear that the main reason she was leaving was becuase she needed her own independence and to get some time to herself. weeks after breaking up our engagement and long relationship she has decided to sleep with someone. i dont understand how she could so quickly jump into bed. can anyone help explain this?

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To answer your question: maybe she found someone before she broke up with you and only gave you the line about needing her space in order to spare your feelings. Maybe she broke up with you and met this guy and things just clicked. The point is, it truly doesn't matter why she broke up with you or what she's doing now. She has moved on, and expects you to do the same. Now, that's definitely easier said than done, but it's time to just realize that your relationship is over and all the maybes and what-ifs in the world aren't going to heal your heart. Focus not on the relationship or what she's doing or with whom, but on yourself and making your own life better without her. Be good to yourself, allow yourself time to heal, and just try to have fun for awhile.