broken heart and i don't know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
broken heart and i don't know what to do
6
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 11:21pm
I was going out with my boyfriend for almost two years when he broke up with me a little more than a week ago. We were together all day one day and the next day he came to my house and ask if he was being the boyfriend I expected or if he changed at all. Then he told me he was thinking about this for a while but he never changed towards me in any way. He always seemed to be very sincere. He told me he needed to break up for himself because he was overwhelmed with 2 jobs and didn't have time anymore. He said that he couldn't be in a relationship right now because he felt he couldn't give 100% and that wasn't fair to me and I deserved better. I gave everything to him and he came into my life when i was having some pretty bad problems which makes this even harder. We sat and tried to talk but just cried for about 2 hours. He insisted on trying to stay friends and I said we could try but i recently tried to contact him and he said he wasn't ready to talk. I am completely heart broken and don't know what to do. I never had a reason to doubt him but i find myself doing that now maybe just because i'm starting to resent what he did. I don't understand that if this is hurting him like it seemed and if he still needs time before he talks to me, how is it still right in his mind. i really don't know what to do with myself now or how to try to move on.I trusted him more than anyone in my life and he told me to never be scarred because he wouldn't hurt me. I havn't been able to eat or sleep very much this week and have lost 12 lbs because of it. I just don't understand this and I don't know what to do. Any advice as to whether I should keep trying to contact him or just try to get over it and how I can do this would be appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 1:59am
I really feel your pain. I am going through a similar break up, my boyfriend was wonderful to me, never gave me a reason to think he would hurt me, or break up with me. I really think you should stay away from him. After all he broke it off, if he wants to come back than you should wait it out. Its the hardest thing to do (stay away). Try to stay busy. I know it sounds crazy and you feel like nothing will help but the busier you are the less time you have to think about the what if's.
Feel Better
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 1:27pm

hi ca0124

this is whats wrong with this guys...coz their brain is TOOO SMALL..they cannot handle things at the sametime. i mean his only your bf to be acting that you need him 24/7 or 100 percent of his time. like his your husband.

AFTER HE TOLD YOU TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM...AND NOW HIS NOT READY TO BE YOUR FRIEND WTF????

TELL HIM, HIS A TOTALLY LOSER!!!

you didnt mention how old you are here?....anyways its never been toO late to find MR. RIGHT. GOOD LUCK AND MORE POWER TO YOU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 1:52pm

Aw, I'm sorry you're in this pain.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 2:19pm
I am so sorry for your pain but your story just opened my eyes to what probably happened to my ex and I's relationship over the weekend. He also has a lot going on in his life and latley I have been put on the back burner because of it. At least he told you why he was breaking up, my ex stood me up Friday and won't return my calls. Over the last month things have been getting very hectic in his life between work and all of his friends wanting him to do everything under the sun for them and he can't say "no" and this is one of the reasons why our relationship was on the downhill. I felt that he only wanted to see me when he had time for me instead of making time for me. Actually, your boyfriend did you a favor by being upfront and telling you that he can't give 100% to the relationship. At least he is not running away like my ex did this weekend. He has enough respect for you to let you know why he can't be the boyfriend you deserve. Give him some time and space and let him get to the point where he can give you what you need in a relationship but do not call him at all. Keep yourself busy and be around friends and family as much as possible. If you get the urge to call, call your parents or a girlfriend instead OR write down what you were going to say and then throw it away. Since I have a lot of unanswered questions on my end, it takes every bit of me to not call even it is a call to officially call our relationship off. My heart says no contact and I hope you heart says the same.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 6:00pm

Wow...once again, I completely disagree with your advice. The size of a male brain has absolutely NOTHING to do with her posting. Not to mention you have absolutely no scientific evidence to back that claim up. It is a mean-spirited, immature comment. On a side note: please consider proofreading your postings.

I think at the end of the day, a good man wants to be a good provider for his woman. This guy sounds like he respects her and wants what is best for her. Right now, he knows with all his jobs and commitments, he cannot be the man he knows she deserves. Granted -- that could be a line -- but based on his previous behavior during the relationship, it very well may be the truth.

To ca0124, please try not to contact him. He will contact you when he is ready. If it is meant to be, it will happen. Meanwhile, do not put your life on hold for this guy. Allow yourself to mourn the relationship and when your heart has healed, go out and meet new guys. I wish you the best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 6:02pm
Just a note...I agree with EVERYTHING you just wrote, and I do mean everything!