BroKeN HeArTeD
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BroKeN HeArTeD
| Wed, 01-24-2007 - 10:17am |
My ex boyfriend just recently broke up with me im only 16 years old, and so is he yes im young, nd everything, but there are times where i just get really sad and emotional, i wanna let go of him so bad ,he tells me get a bf but then again its hurts me to hear it from him , it hurts for me not to speak to him niether will he doesnt speak to me at all i have him for one class in a foods class , *sigh he says he isnt a good bf he recently told me sumthin like having a girlfriend is too much for me ,we went out for 8 months , nd all my friends told me dont get back with him he has broken up with me 3times will him and i ever be friends? i still want to be in his life........ i want to just be friends or so, wat should i do? give it time? how much time?

You're so young and you have sooooooooo much to look forward to.
First you should work on yourself and not the relationship you think you need with this guy. Nothing is more attractive to a 16 year old boy than a strong girl who shows she doesn't need him and can move on. Not only will working on yourself turn his head, but probably a lot of new guys as well. And by then you may have forgotten about this jerk who has led you along for too long!
I've been in the same position you've been in... several times! And it hurts, it can hurt real bad. But life goes on. You can either choose to be sad and mope around like the world is going to end. Or you can choose to pick yourself up, gain some self confidence, and live a life that people will admire! When it comes down to it... it is a choice that we all make.
Good Luck to you!!!
It's very hard to heal from a first love and go through a break-up. He's broken up with you 3 times in the short period of time the two of you have been going out. That tells me that there are problems in the relationship.
You may be friends at some point in the future, but right now you both need to heal and to grow towards the people you are going to become. The next 5 yrs are going to change you so much, looking back you will so surprised. When I was your age, I didn't want to let go of my boyfriend either. On some level, I thought no one else would like me or want to be with me. I also thought he defined me in some way. As my self-esteem sunk lower and lower, I held on tighter. Hopefully, you can get through this and be more happy. The sadness and depression isn't only caused by the break-up. Look at your life. I bet being on the roller coaster of being broken up 3 times adds to the sadness. There is nothing wrong with you. Everything you feel is normal. Most couple's don't get together at 15/16 and stay together. One or both want to date around, explore, get to know themselves, I hope you take this time to grow as a person.
I'm going to give you a reading list. It's some of the same books I recommended to my niece when she was about your age. Check your local Library.
Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse
The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen
The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz
What Smart Women Know, Steven Carter & Julia Sokol
Are You The One For Me? Barbara DeAngelis
Olive Juice...and Other Thoughts on Love, Heartbreak and Moving Forward by Eric Champnella
I Used to Miss Him...But My Aim is Improving: Not Your Ordinary Breakup Survival Guide by Alison James
My best to you. It will get better.
Carrie
And everyday will get easier & easier. There will be challenges, but challenge yourself to keep your head up & smile. A smile always makes the heart feel better... even when you don't feel like smiling. :)
Stay strong!!! You should be proud of yourself!
Tell her what you've said in your posts. Then say that you've decided to work on yourself before you make any decisions about another boy. This is the part of your life where you should have fun. Not be bogged down by a boy.
Does she know he broke up with you 3 times? That should be her sign to tell you to kick him to the curb. :)
hi girl, i just read your story and it sounds A LOT like mine. it was first real relationship, and it last 9 months, and i'm young as well. i go to school with my ex, and personally i hate seeing him. i hate that he ignores me. and i hate that he really hurt me and i continue to want to talk to him. he is hooking up with one of my "friends" and i can't help but be jealous. what helps at school is just...surround yourself with your friends. i made the huge mistake of almost begging him to give me a second change as he was breaking up with me. it felt so pitiful, but its so hard to let go of your first relationship. how are you doing with everything? do you and your ex just ignore eachother at school? do your friends talk to him? mine do, and i know it really hurts me for some reason. it's been two months for me, and everyday at school i attempt to prove how good i am without him (whether its fake or not...). I do it becasue of how pitiful i felt in the end. i guess i'm trying to redeem my self-respect by showing him that i am okay without him. i dont know. i just didnt think it would be so hard to let go. i'm trying though. how do you deal with seeing him at school?
anyway best of luck! if you want to talk any more (since it seems we are in the same boat sort of) just let me know!