Broken Hearted

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Broken Hearted
2
Sat, 07-31-2004 - 10:29am
I have had numerous problems with my bf. I know that I wasn't happy and that we were not right for each other. We moved in together in March. The last couple months have been filled with fighting. He is going out all the time and saying horrible things when ever I mention responsibilities he may have in the relationship. We have been growing further and further apart. This past week he started talking about getting his own place. That he is just not ready for something so serious. He moved from his mom's house to our apartment. He has never done anything for himself. He is 25 and has showed me 100s of signs that he is not ready. Now he is finally telling me straight out.

Last night he broke it off with me. Even all I know logically, I am devastated. My arms and legs feel like they weigh 100 lbs. each. My stomach is upset my chest is tight and all I do is cry. It hurts so much. He has broken up with me twice before and I know this pain. On Sept. 1 was our 2 yr. anniversary.

Besides the pain, my next problem is, he has no where to live. He wants to crash on the couch until he can find some where. I feel that is the decent thing to do but I don't know if I can handle it. I want to start getting over him yesterday. I know when I see him I am going to want to get back together. I know this won't be good for either of us. Also he is the most unmotivated person. I do everything for us. I feel that if I let him stay on the couch it will be months before he leaves. I think that he wants me to still be the sweet person to him that I have always been and now he has no obligation to treat me kindly. Even though he rarely took my feelings into consideration when we were together.

When I told him, I don't know if I could handle seeing him every day he just scoffed and said well what am I suppose to do?

I really can't believe that this is happening. I am so scared about being alone and without him and now I have to act logically and try to figure out this situation while I am a bundle of nerves and emotion.

Thank you for any support.

This hurts so much. Has any one experienced something similar? How should I handle it?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sherib603
Sat, 07-31-2004 - 10:58am
Give him two weeks to find a new place, and in the meantime, you should stay with friends or family as often as you can. He can move back with his mom if necessary for a little while!

At the end of that time, if he hasn't done anything, you'll need to stick to your guns and change the locks if need be.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
In reply to: sherib603
Sat, 07-31-2004 - 11:58am
Thanks for your feed back. It's just so hard to accept that this is real. I feel like I can shake my head and everything will be back to normal. I know that would make me feel better temporarily but not in the long run. I know that he is not good for me. I just know that if he is around I am just going to cry. I would like to leave with some of my dignity.

I guess I can let his stuff stay for a week or so but hopefully he will have the respect to stay with friends and family.

Thanks again.

:) Sheri (too)