brokenhearted again
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| Wed, 04-27-2005 - 1:29pm |
I have never felt so awful in my entire life. In fact, I've actually considered making an appointment at a therapist or something.
My ex and I had a what I thought was a good relationship, lost of fun, lots of laughing, serious talks, a spicy hot love life...but apparently it wasn't all of that for him. He broke up with my on saturday...while I was at work over the phone. It was awful. We had a fabulous date on Thursday, dinner...movie...drinks...then he said lets get together tomorrow, super great kiss goodnight.
So I went to work the next day and he usually leaves me a message as to where everyone from work went to for happy hour or if they are still out or if not that he is just going to come over after I get out of work. (we work together but luckily in different departments so I shouldn't see him too often thank goodness) But that particular evening no phone call, nothing. So give him a call... not too forward considering he is my boyfriend of 8 months. I shoot him a text message because sometimes when you are out you can't hear your phone. So I drive home from work. Then I call him again because its like a half hour later and leave him a message saying I was dissapointed that he had blown me off like this and it was not cool at all with me. So I call another friend from work to go out...turns out ex bf is with him and everyone else from work. So I casually mention, oh really could you tell bf to give me a call when he gets a chance.
Ex Bf calls back and says you sounded upset in your message, I said yes well i am, I thought we were going to hang out. And he was like oh I just lost track of time. I said but you know when I get out of work and its like 45 min later and I had to drive home and everything. He's like I don't want to argue with you (in a mean kind of tone) and I said fine and hung up. Then I left a message saying I didn't call to argue with him, I was just wanting to get together because he had said that he wanted to.
Keep in mind I rarely ever even call him. Maybe twice a week or less. He calls maybe twice a week. I am the kind of person who desires more of a communication between partners. He knows that but was unwilling to provide that. I like that how was your day kind of convo, he could care less about that.
So when I talk to him the next day after he sends me a "we need to talk" text message...he says it isn't going to work out. and I was like you are willing to throw 8 months away over one lousy night? and he said he hadn't been happy for a while and did not want to work on this issue because it would never go away in our relationship.
I just feel so hurt...lost...alone. I miss him so much. He was the first guy I ever loved ( i'm 24) He knew I took our relationship seriously...If he didn't he should have ended it much sooner...or I shoudl have read the signs and ended it myself sooner, I dont know. I wish that he cared about me the way I cared about him but he doesn't. Now I have to learn to move on, but I'm having a really hard time. I thought he could have been "the one" and that he was perfect for me.

sherah...
Pianoguy wants to start by giving you a hug.....because it's clear (to him, anyway) that you need one.
First....TRUE
Thanks Pianoguy,
I've just been having a hard time dealing with the fact that someday he will be with someone else who isn't me. Why them and not me? Why didn't he find me special... I have no clue. I know there is someone else out there for me...but I think it will be so hard when I eventually bump into him as I know I am bound to ( we work together...mutual friends) but at least I rarely ever see him at work. I just can't believe that this person who seemed to care so much for me, ended up huring me so bad