The calm before the storm
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| Thu, 12-09-2004 - 11:14am |
Everyone keeps telling me how proud they are of me for being so strong through all of this....
It started about a month ago. First, it was calls from the ow, then the lying kicked into full swing. When my h of almost 7 years finally admitted to me that he had been unfaithful, I took it better than I ever thought I would. But it hurts like you wouldn't believe. Even after finding out about his infidelity, I was willing to stay in it for the long haul and do whatever I had to to make my marriage work. But, he's not in the right place mentally to be a good husband to me. To be the husband that I deserve. So, he told me that it's basically time for him to go and grow as a man. While that hurts and it's forcing me to begin on a journey I thought I'd never take, Im kind of relieved. He saved me from months and maybe even years of trying to be a good wife, while in the back of my head Im constantly wondering.....the trust has been compromised. On top of that, before I even found out about this ow, he wasn't happy. Probably hasn't been for a long time. So we agreed that he will be moving out this weekend.
Now, it's my time. Im scared to be alone. I've never lived alone before. Im scared of the whole dating scene. I pretty much married my husband right out of high school. But I know that these things will only take time and my healing to get through it. So now, my plan is to just stay as busy as I possibly can. It's my time. I want to have a very deep relationship with myself. I need it. All the things I said I wanted to do and never got around to and never had the motivation to do, I am going to begin to do. I have a huge group of support from family and friends.
Im still in love with my husband, but I realize I have to let him go. In the end, it will probably be the best thing either of us have done in our adult years. Luckily for us, there aren't any children involved. Making the separation easier to deal with. Is there anyone else that is experiencing the same situation?

You might want to visit this site: http://www.network54.com/Forum/233195
It's a posting board for betrayed spouses...you might get some good information and advise out of it. Good luck...
I can't completely relate with what you are going through since I was never married, but I do understand somewhat.