Can I make him regret leaving me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2007
Can I make him regret leaving me?
4
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 10:15am
My ex (of 5 years) broke up with me almost a year ago. From what I hear (because he never explained it to me), he left because I was "too serious." The breakup came out of nowhere, and I am completely crushed. He has done this to me before, but then he would call and I would always go back to him. This is the longest we have ever been apart, and he doesn't seem bothered at all! He never asks about me or anything! Now, he recently has started "hanging out" with one of my (ex) friends, and that hurts me even more! I know its been a long time, but I can't get over the fact that he is "ok" without me. I wont ever get back with him, but I want him to fight for me a little so I can tell him "no. its too late." which is something I never told him before. How can I get him to want me back? (Ugh. Im such a loser.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 12:13pm

....."I know its been a long time, but I can't get over the fact that he is "ok" without me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 1:03pm
I think we can all agree that pretty much everyone that is posting here is in some serious pain due to our relationships falling apart. It's never easy, and it doesn't get easier the older we get. Of course, the greatest thing for all of us would be for our exes to come crawling back to us saying, wow what a mistake I've made, I miss you so much, I was an idiot to let you slip away, just so we could say "hmmm..yeah, no thanks", so that we could turn the pain around on them and give them a taste of their own medicine. I'll admit, I've daydreamed this scenario myself over the last couple weeks since my bf decided to break my heart. It would be great. But I have to face reality. The hard truth is if he wanted to be with me, he would've worked on things with me. He let me go, and decided he didn't want me in his life or in his future. I've tried contacting him a few times, via email or the phone, to not much avail. Like many people on this board have said, it only ends up hurting me more, knowing this person who I thought loved me so much, now prefers to pretend I don't exist. I think, texas girl, the best way to get back at your ex is to just live your life to the fullest. Now, don't roll your eyes, I'm serious. You have to let him go, and live YOUR life. You're giving him way too much satisfaction here by thinking about him too much and being too concerned with his happiness level, you need to get back to #1 (yourself.) It burns you up inside knowing he has moved on, right? Well do the same thing to him! Forget him! I know it's much much easier said than done, I realize this, but it's what you need to do. Wouldn't it be better for him to hear through the grapevine "oh she's doing awesome, she's really happy, she's got x, y, and z going on, she's just doing great" rather than him hearing "she seems to be thinking about you a lot, she hasn't really let go, she's upset that you're seeing so and so". Let HIM be the one to think 'wow, she doesn't sound upset about us at all.' Take control of your life and do things to make you happier. Set goals for yourself, etc. Stop wasting your precious time thinking about someone who broke your heart. If you don't take care of yourself, no one else will, right? You can do it!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2007
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 1:40pm
I agree 100% with axogirl49. Everything she said is right on. It hurts, I know it does, but...it's hurting because you are letting it eat away at you. It's ok to feel that pain and to miss the past and to wonder about 'what might have been'. But, the reality is that your visions for the future with your ex are just that - visions. They aren't going to come true. So, why waste time on something you can't have? Get out there, live life, and put on a happy face (even if you are dying inside). You may feel like you are putting on a show, and for a while, maybe you will be doing just that. But after a while, it will be REAL - you will find you are happier and healthier and moving in the right direction: away from the past! Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 03-07-2007 - 1:52pm

Hi texas_girl,


Holy cow.