can i say thanks to ex g/f's friend?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
can i say thanks to ex g/f's friend?
6
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 9:24pm

just wanted to see what you guys think. g/f wanted a break and have not seen her for almost 3 months now. when i was with her, i stayed at her place a lot and her roommate did not mind at all, i think.

so i wanted to know if its ok to drop by to say thanks to her roommate, maybe apologize if i was a bother, or should i just send a thank you card?

i miss my ex a lot. wanted to also ask her roommate if we could just talk and maybe learn something more about my ex.

what do you guys think?

thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 10:32pm

I would strongly advise against that. Her roommate's loyalties are probably with your ex and unless you WANT every word you say to her to be repeated to your ex, then I wouldn't talk to her roommate. Besides, her roommate is not going to appreciate you thanking her, she's going to think or assume that you're just trying to dig info about your ex from her (and she might be offended you're using her).

If you wanted to send a card to her parents b/c they were really nice to you, I'd say go for it. Roommate? No. Trying to get info about your ex from her roommate? BIG NO.

That's my humble opinion.

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-17-2006 - 12:05am
I think it sounds like you're trying to get to your ex via the roommate, which could really backfire on you. The ex might thing you're trying to hit on the roommate for instance. I'm not sure what to tell you. I suppose you could call the roommate, if they have a different number, and ask her out. But just be prepared to tell her why would you like to see her. And also be prepared to have her decline your invitation. It never hurts to ask, is my motto. But you have to be prepared to hear no.


Edited 6/17/2006 12:08 am ET by iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2006
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 2:21pm

No way!!!!! the roommate will just laugh behind your back. It will also give your exgf ammo to make fun of you. I know if it was me and an ex came back to apologize to my roommate, I would laugh my a&& off.

YOu will only look stupid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Sun, 06-18-2006 - 5:03pm

I agree with the others, don't do it. My reasoning is because you aren't being at all honest about why you want to contact the roommate, that thank you is just a very flimsy veil of an excuse. Her loyalties ARE with your ex, not you, and you will come off badly. If you are sincere and we're guessing all wrong, send a card, simply saying thank you for her patience and or being a good sport during that time, but seriously, think how even that sounds. Unless you had developed a true friendship with her roommate during that time, I highly doubt she's giving it much thought anyway. If you really feel you want to talk to her about your ex, at least have the forthrightness to be honest about your reasons with her, but be aware she most likely WILL tell your ex about it.

It's just best not to include a third party in your break.

Sandra

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 10:48am

SERIOUSLY, Do not do it. Even if your intentions are good, do not do it.

Last week I started talking to my ex's best friend on Myspace.com. I regret this more than anything I have ever done in my life. I just saw him on there and decided to send him a message, it wasn't anything scandalous, I didn't even talk about my ex. But when my ex called to see if I had talked to his friend, I felt horrible. I knew at that moment that I had really messed up. It was stupid, and I'm still kicking myself for it.

I should've known. He is my ex's friend not mine. Why did I send him the message? Because I thought hey I know him I'll send him a message see how he's doing.

I have apologized to my ex and I've told him that I didn't talk to his friend to try and find out what he was doing, or to get with his friend, but still I feel really stupid.

My intentions were good, and I still feel horrible.

Don't do it.

~amber~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 7:24pm

well if you do that your exgf will think something else..i mean are you just gonna do that coz your curious about your exgf?

if ever just be straight..talk to your exgf instead of talking to her room mate. you just gonna make the situation more confusing.