Can someone figure this out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Can someone figure this out?
7
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 3:56pm
Regarding my previous post "I've Been here Before", can someone explain this to me? I wrote in my post that I was blindsided by this. Yes of course we had things to discuss but I didn't expect him to just drop me instead of talking about our issues. In fact he sent me flowers for Valentine's Day, and the card read "Hi baby, happy valentine's day. I love you and I miss you. I'll see you soon. Love, him" He sent these flowers to me at my workplace while he was away. Can someone tell me how it is he sends me these flowers with this lovely card, and then breaks up with me a whole two days later???????
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Fri, 02-23-2007 - 4:02pm

Honestly, no one can explain it, probably not even him.

I think everyone on this board who was the one being broke up with was "blindsided" I know I was. I still look back and feel a little blindsided (my break-up was 10 months ago).

One thing I learned was that closure has to come from yourself, you can't expect him to give that to you.

Moving on is hard, realizing that life does go on, that it's okay to live without him is rough, but you can make it through this.

~Amber

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 4:13am
Hi axogirl - sometimes I don't think people always know their own mind. They go through the routines of their lives, the things that are expected of them, push aside their doubts, hope things will change, get better, or whatever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 4:11pm

Hi Axo - I actually asked my ex this very question. Exactly one week after we agreed that it was time for me to get pregnant, he broke up with me. I asked him how he could do that (switch overnight) and he said he knew it didn't make sense/he thought things were going to work out but it just became apparent they were not.

I agree that sometimes people may not know their own minds 100% causing them to say/do things that they don't therefore 100% mean. Unfortunately, that results in hurt to another person (us). The only thing that is positive about this is that you know its not YOU - its his own issues/problems/confusion. Hope that helped a little.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 4:38pm
Hi waterwoks, I think you meant to post a reply to Axo - I get automatic notification when someone replies to my posts....hopefully axo will read it anyway.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 7:52pm
yes i did read the response from waterworks. Thanks so much for all your insight, I really do appreciate it. I know life will go on, it's just so very hard right now, as we all know! I definitely plan on staying single for a long time after this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2007
Sun, 02-25-2007 - 8:50pm
The same thing happened to me. My boyfriend of 5 years sent me flowers at work on Valentine's Day & broke up with me 2 days later. I never saw it coming. I'm sorry it happened to you too, but find comfort knowing I'm not the only one these things happen to. Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 4:00pm
I honestly don't know what goes through peoples heads. But if I had to guess, and i really don't know, but I would think that because Valentine's Day is such a big ridiculous deal that he was probably just going through the motions. He couldn't break up with you on Valentine's day and not doing anything might have caused a fight that would have lead to the break up on Valentine's day and he didn't want that. but again I really don't know.