Can't be with him
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| Sat, 03-15-2008 - 12:22pm |
My heart and mind are clouded with a heavy swirl of emotions. I broke up with my SO. Why is it that the most perfect wonderful man is actually someone I just can't stay with? There are so many reasons why he is more perfect for me than any other man I've ever known. I keep reminding myself of the reasons why I had to END IT.
1- Main reason: his jealousy/paranoia issues turning controlling (asked to see my credit card statement to prove I really went to a particular restaurant. he actually thought maybe I was with some guy at his house which is so bizarre to me..I spend all my time with my SO, but just this night I wanted to go out bc he was sleeping! I would never cheat on him and I thought we had so much trust in each other but this accusation tore me up)
2- he said he never wants to get married but rather just live together forever and be life partners. just fine except for the fact his family wants nothing to do with us bc of it which is unacceptable being that i want to know his family. i think marriage is that social institution and more for validating the relationship to other ppl rather than us. I'm not pushing marriage at all. If it weren't for this weird stuff with his family, I wouldnt be thinking of it.
3- his moods...he gets in strange moods where he suddenly just disconnects from me
4- he's a wonderful lover, but he doesn't satisfy me completely sexually... he doesn't do enough foreplay but rather focuses on himself more. he doesn't reciprocate going down on me. I like foreplay/sex, a lot and I need a man who cares a lot about my sexual desires
There are thousands of reasons why I love him. I had to make this decision with my head which is something I wish I did early on with my previous relationship. Now I've done it and should be proud of myself for staying true to myself, but I feel so empty with missing all of the wonderful ways we light up each other's life.
I guess I will be depressed for several days if not weeks ahead. Moving on will be so difficult. I've gotta push through this.. I'm 30 years old and can't waste any time.
I've never actually broken up with someone I love before. It's such a painful feeling.

Welcome to the board place2004,
::I had to make this decision with my head which is something I wish I did early on with my previous relationship.
I think most of us wish this at some time.
I did the same thing several months ago. I am only 21, so
I just did the same thing 3 week ago. I walked away from the man I love because of his issues.
He was one of the only men I ever trusted and one of the sweetest guys I've ever known, but his issues were too big for
Perhaps one of the most painful thing that you can go through is to say goodbye to a relationship that you have nurtured for so long. A failed relationship does not only mean saying goodbye to a person that you love so much but also saying goodbye to a love that you thought would last forever. In a sense, you are also saying goodbye to one of your cherished dreams and hopes.
It was definitely time to let go, and I'm glad you did. Too many couples stick it out to the ugly and bitter end, when the relationship is so destroyed that it destroys who they are as people as well.
I guess I'm in a similar situation; I just recently ended a three year relationship because, even though he is wonderful and perfect, he just wasn't perfect for ME. And it's SO F-ING HARD to not call him, to not make dinner together, that sort of thing. When you're with someone for a long period of time, they become very much a part of your life. The longer the time that you spent together, the more painful it would be afterwards because the memories will slowly eat your resolve. Don't let it.
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart." -ConfuciusEdited 3/17/2008 4:19 am ET by crashdoll
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucius