Can't bring myself to make the break...
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Can't bring myself to make the break...
| Fri, 10-14-2005 - 10:19pm |
My relationship is over. Its been over for a long time. I'm 27, he's 39, it's been 2.5 years and I love him, and I feel like we're best friends, but I just do not want to be with him anymore. Nothing specific about him, he's fantastic, but nonetheless I just don't feel that what we have does it for me in the long run, and I want to start dating other people. In fact I think since about 3 months into the relationship, I've always felt this way. Something has just been missing for me. We have broken up many times, always inititated by me. But a few weeks later, I get lonely, or horny, or I end up on a bad date, and I think of him, I call, he shows up, we hang out "casually" for awhile and before you know it, we're back together again. A few months go by, the cycle starts over, I start feeling we're not meant to be, we break up, I get lonely.....etc. I feel like I could go on forever in this, and I don't want to. What makes it hard is that he is really an incredible guy. Has always been the best to me. But for whatever reason, I am just not prepared to commit myself to him forever, and I feel I am wasting both of our time. It will break his heart if I leave yet again. But I need to. I am just afraid that if I leave, I will just come back again. But if I leave and do come back, I'll be sitting here, 6 months from now, in the same dilemma again. So I am stuck right now. I don't want to keep this cycle going. Sometimes I wish he would just get fed up and leave. Sometimes I find myself hoping he would cheat on me or treat me horribly so that I can really leave for once and for all, but he is a great guy, and he would not do that to me. What is wrong with me?
How do I just walk away and NOT LOOK BACK??????
How do I just walk away and NOT LOOK BACK??????

I am 36 my boyfriend was 28, the same thing happened to him, he stopped caring a few months into the relationship, did everything to show me he didnt want to be there, was distant, picked fights every other week, actually told me a few months after he told me i was the one, that he changed his mind, that he still loved me but that he wasnt really sure I was the one he wanted to marry and have children with, but that he still wanted to stay together and in time maybe we could get there because he definitely loved me, so I stayed, hoping to be the one, but months later we were still exactly where we were. Trust me, when you stop wanting to be with someone it shows, we can feel it and it tears us apart, because youre not telling us you want to go, and by staying we still have hope that something will change, so I am begging you to tell him the truth, let him go and find someone who will love him like he deserves, its not fair to just give him signs so he will "get the hint" and go because he won't, you have to tell him, honestly too, not i still love you but i need some space, LET HIM GO, if you care anything at all for him, please do it. Its only selfish to keep him in a relationship he thinks he has a future in and you already know there isnt one.
Kathy
It is healthier and honest to show dignity and respect for each other to end it before it turns bad.
I too wanted to end my relationship many times. I truly knew he was not the one but some addiction and lots of fears took over and stopped me from doing the right thing. It's over now and still I cling to the image of what I wanted it to be.
Let him go in peace..best of luck...