Can't get my head around it

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Can't get my head around it
2
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 4:49am

Today marks two months since the break-up. And while I'm doing a lot better than I expected myself to be doing only two months down the line, I still carry around with me this great sense of loss and sadness everywhere I go. It's so unnerving, and just plain scary, that after a month and a half of no contact at all he still has this kind of jurisdiction over me without even trying. He still consumes my thoughts every day, and my dreams are still riddled with him, and with the person he left me for. In fact, I just woke up from one of those dreams (it's 4:00 in the morning!), and I'm now feeling much like I did in the first weeks of the break-up, which isn't pretty as I'm sure you all know. I know this will pass; I'm just having one of those moments.

Two months isn't a long time, but I guess I'm getting better already, slowly. In the last week or so, I've been more eager to speak to him, or at least to find out about his business, than I have in awhile, but don't worry, I wouldn't dare contact him. Part of me still hopes he'll return, whether on a romantic or a platonic level, but to be honest, if he contacted me I wouldn't even know where to begin. As much as I'd like to hear from him, it's easier to be this far apart.

There really isn't much more to say, and really, there's no advice to give. I just needed to vent, so thank you for listening. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 7:28am

bollywoodtoile..

First...Pianoguy (who has been through 2 serious breakups in his life) KNOWS that you'll eventually get past the disappointment and heartbreak.

Letting go of any dream or pleasant memory is probably the toughest assignment most of us will ever face! Simply because the 'practical side' of our brain says...she (or he) wasn't worth our time...while the 'romantic side' is still holding out for A HAPPIER ENDING!

Give yourself as much time as you need to make the adjustment to 'singlehood!' Once your head is completely ON STRAIGHT...and you encounter him at the local supermarket...you'll find that carrying on a conversation is considerably easier!

Best wishes and warm thoughts...

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2007
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 8:17am
I'm going through something very similar. It's been 2 months and still last week I had trouble sleeping on a couple of nights, waking up at 3 in the morning. Why???? I mean, really, the last thing I want to do when I'm going through this is wake up at 3 am with nothing to do but think about him. And wonder whether he's spending the night with another woman and if he is what they're doing or what they did and how it must be so great and fresh and new . . .
In many ways I am still devastated. But I am beginning to understand that it wasn't what I thought it was. Pianoguy is right, it's so hard to let go of those ideas. I think, though, that if I can let go of those and accept this relationship for what it was--disposable!--then I'll be much better off. I'm trying!
I really hope if I run into him--wait, I hope I DON'T run into him until I'm okay with all of this.