Can't move on after a (very) old breakup
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| Tue, 12-04-2007 - 8:00am |
Hi everyone,
I don't really know how to talk about it...It's been more than two years now of NC and I still think about him. The funny part is that we haven't even been together for a long time (a little bit more than 6 months) plus I've been into two other (rewarding) relationships after him but I still think about him a lot (and I mean a lot). I don't understand what is going on on my mind! Why am I not able to just move on and completely forget about him? It's like I've been cursed since I met him the first time...There is no way I can take him out of my mind. I am currently going out with a very nice and sweet guy who loves me a lot and for which I have tons of affection. But the old one is always there...Sometimes, it seems that I am completely over him (I barely think about him in weeks) but then, I have also have those phases where I seem almost back to square one (awful feeling of loneliness, checking my email and hoping to get a message from him...etc).
I am so much better than two years ago, but I am not healed. I can't talk about it to my friends really because no one understands how a girl like me (I look very smart and confident) can't get over it after two years of NC.
Any similar situations?

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Hi Lana, I'm not in the same situation, but I've been broken up with someone for a year, mostly NC that whole time and I am still not over him at all. My own opinion is that some kinds of love are forever - I think that is why so many people have that one ex who they never quite forget.
What are the reasons why you still feel this way? That might be a start towards helping you figure this out. For me, its because no one has ever made me feel the way he did, or compares to him and I'm not going to settle or fake it with someone just to have a guy in my life.
Its a good sign that you have had other healthy relationships; that means that although you are still feeling this way about him, you are not letting it get in the way of potential partners.
What were the circumstances of your breakup? As I think others might agree, that really will dictate your next steps re: him.
Welcome to the board lana1981,
How much grieving have you allowed yourself to do regarding the break up with this guy?
I am sorry you're going through this.
I know how you feel lana1981, I need to get this out, as I just had an ex incident this morning. It's been 5 months since my break up and I still get really upset sometimes. Today , for some odd reason, I checked his e=mail account, only to discover a picture with him and a new girl. :( It really upsets me...even though I've had my share of new guys in my life, just to know my exbf is with someone new hurts. it really hurts. He was one of those guys who put on his "charm" for the first year, then his true skin showed. He treated me like crap the last year of the relationship...I should've known better. I guess love is blind. I thought we both felt the same way...but I think he was just dragging me on. He's such a jerk. I thought he was "different." turns out he's just like the rest of them.
I hardly think about the ex anymore but for some reason I decided to check on things on his email account, and thats when I got upset. Now it's all I can think about today. We shouldn't let them control how we feel. It's a horrible feeling knowing you lost the person you loved with all your heart. Don't let yourself get involved too seriously with someone, or if you do, make sure you're the one in control. That's my new theory. If you let them control your feelings and your mind, then you let them win.
Welcome to the board guessgirl21,
I'm surprised he hasn't changed his password on his email account.
Today marks two years since my ex broke up with me (we dated three years).
I've been in a similar situation...
I met a boy in high school.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels like this.
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