Can't move on after a (very) old breakup

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2007
Can't move on after a (very) old breakup
17
Tue, 12-04-2007 - 8:00am

Hi everyone,

I don't really know how to talk about it...It's been more than two years now of NC and I still think about him. The funny part is that we haven't even been together for a long time (a little bit more than 6 months) plus I've been into two other (rewarding) relationships after him but I still think about him a lot (and I mean a lot). I don't understand what is going on on my mind! Why am I not able to just move on and completely forget about him? It's like I've been cursed since I met him the first time...There is no way I can take him out of my mind. I am currently going out with a very nice and sweet guy who loves me a lot and for which I have tons of affection. But the old one is always there...Sometimes, it seems that I am completely over him (I barely think about him in weeks) but then, I have also have those phases where I seem almost back to square one (awful feeling of loneliness, checking my email and hoping to get a message from him...etc).

I am so much better than two years ago, but I am not healed. I can't talk about it to my friends really because no one understands how a girl like me (I look very smart and confident) can't get over it after two years of NC.

Any similar situations?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2006
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 12:36am
Hey there, I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel completely.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2007
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 3:25pm

How long were you together?


I have read it takes 1/2 as long as your relationship was.....ugh, i had a 3 year relationship, is it going to take me 18 months?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2008
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 11:06pm

Hi all

Just letting you know I'm going through EXACTLY the same thing. He broke up with me 5 months ago... although it's getting a little better, I still have my very down days. I constantly think of him and can't get him out of my head... which I've never experienced before with anybody else.

I'm grieving, crying, etc. etc. and sometimes I just think "Enough is enough"... "It's time to let him go" but then like yourselves, you just DON'T want to and have the hope that something magic could happen and both of you would be together again.

But I guess it's hope and the best thing to do is to actually move on. (sigh)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2007
Tue, 02-05-2008 - 6:50pm

Hi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2005
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 5:17pm

Hello Board!

I haven't logged on to this site in awhile (which is a good sign), but I just wanted to share some encouragement today.


After 5 1/2 years, my boyfriend decided that he just "couldn't do it" and left very abruptly at the beginning of 2006.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2008
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 2:11pm

Lana,


Like everyone else on this board I understand how you feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2007
Sun, 03-16-2008 - 9:42pm

Hello everyone,

Thank you so much for your answers and your nice words...It really helps!

On the ex front, I have to say that there is no change really! It's the same pattern everytime: I completely forget about him when I am with someone else and then go back to square one as soon as I am single again (hence my presence on the site again). For the last 6 months, I have been with a wonderful guy (he was an exchange student and he left for Europe)...Now that I am single again, all I can think about is number 1!!!!

I heard appalling stories about women who could not forget about someone for 8 sometimes 10 years! The good news: they all said the same thing to me: Nothing lasts forever...No matter how long it'll take, no matter how painful it was, they all ended up with someone else that was better and made them happier!

In the meantime, I am trying (very hard) to be happy...En attendant!

Pages