Career Conflict

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
Career Conflict
3
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 2:26pm
I work for an engineering company and have the standard 8-5 hours. My boyfriend is a tattoo artist and works Tuesday thru Thursday 2-12am and Fridays and Saturdays from 3-2am. I only get to see him on Sundays. It's making me crazy. I'm home alone all week and on Sunday he wants to spend time with me but I get so upset by then that I'm always alone. We love eachother and don't have any other serious issues. I told him that I didn't feel the same about him anymore because he's never home. He can't really change his schedule and I can't change mine. I don't know how to fix it. I keep asking him to take at least every third Friday or Saturday off but it hasn't happened yet. I don't know if I should leave him. Right now he's not sure if he wants to stay with me because I'm always upset that I don't get to see him. I don't know what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 3:30pm
I'm in the same situation. He's working full time and going to school full time, and I get to see him once or twice a week on average except for crunch times when I don't see him at all. We talk on the phone regularly, but it's hard to have feelings for a voice. I am trying to hold on, since I believe it will get better. Fortunately, my situation is not permanent (except once he graduates, he'll be studying for the bar, and then he'll be a lawyer, and imagine how much free time those guys have!). Could you compromise and he take off one Friday a month and you take a Monday off every month that you dedicate to spending with each other? That way he's not the only one bending. Believe me, I know the frustration. Sometimes I just feel like I'm being taken for granted, but I just hold out for the time that we do have together.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2006
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 5:58pm

i dont think it's fair to make him take off work. he doesnt do that to you, does he? you are not the one paying his bills and i'm sure you wouldnt want to be.

how far is the tattoo shop? the details arent so good here, but i'm assuming you two live seperately. what about also seeing each other monday night after you get off work? maybe you could do a group activity that night with some friends. what about you meeting up saturday night after he leaves work, doing some late night ihop and sleeping over (alternate between his and your place)?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2007
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 8:05pm

My relationship was very similar, I would make the time to see him, but I never got that courtesy back. And it sucked...and when I would bring it up he made me feel guilty with "I need the money, my roomate owes me money, I am too busy..." If he wants to be with you he will MAKE the time, and same is visa versa. If you want to be with him you need to make the time as well because as I learned the hard way, one way relationships don't work, it takes two people to bend and make the time and I think that you need to figure out if you can do it. I was constantly upset and that is one of the reasons why my ex said he broke up with me, because he couldn't take his gf crying all the time...though he was never willing to ask why and help fix it..he just gave up and that showed me he didn't care enough about me and was willing to put school and working at a restaurant over me...I understand...but to a point.

good luck! Just think about how much you really want in the relationship and how much both of you are willing to give.