Cheated with numorous women I'm HURT!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Cheated with numorous women I'm HURT!
4
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 2:06pm
I found out my boyfriend had cheated on me with alot of women. I had a gut feeling awhile ago but i didn't want to accuse until I was sure, about 2 weeks ago i found out the password to his email and also to his voicemail. I found out that he's been going on online porn sites, not only that he has a ton of porno flicks. I checked his voicemail and it was like women leaving messages saying "I was calling to see if you were coming over tonight". one girl asked if he could bring her some money. The other women just left messages telling him to call them. So one night I was over his house and we had relations I busted out crying cause i loved him so much but yet I knew so much dirt on him. The next morning I stared at him and strted crying and told him how I felt He told me that he apologized for the things I went through and lets try to work it out, so I said ok well tell me the truth about the things I am about to ask .I asked him about the porn he admitted that he go on porn sites just to be doing something (ok fine). So I asked him about a partcular girl that he was suppose to meet up with that same night I was over his house the same night i busted out crying ( he didn't know that I knew about that). He got mad and said " you know what You are going to always find something wrong ,and I don't think this going to work and told me not to call him anymore. And I didn't and I mst say I am maintaining ok its been about a week. A friend of his that hangs around my mothers way told me that he said that the girl that I asked him about was his godsister (yeah right!!!!) Why is he saying all of this after the fact ( remember he dumped me but in all actually he was busted and he had to end it). I am DONE! but why is he telling lies about the girl being his godsister who cares and he shouldn't either cause he was suppose to be the one that so-called dumped me!! What is the point for all of this (why don't he just let it go) ( We were in engaged I guess he thought that 1.6 canary yellow diamond was going to make me stay) (sorry!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 2:52pm
Hi PT. I am very sorry about what happened to you. Obviously this guy was a scumbag and didn't deserve you. We all are/have been there and I just gotta ask -did you keep the gorgeous ring? I hope so because I bet he will never forgive himself for losing you and that money when he realizes what he lost!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Wed, 08-31-2005 - 3:36pm
Actually, I didn't because I been told him that money and material things don't mean much to me (cause I can hold my own). Everyone wanted me to keep it, but I gave it back to him to let him know that it was totally over, and I couldn't look at my finger everyday knowing that he gave that and remembering the things he done to me. To tell you the truth I don't know how he really felt about me cause he's been cheating all along (thats what I found out) So, that question will always be up in the air. Thanks! for your kind words sweetie!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2005
Sat, 09-03-2005 - 5:21pm
It must be a guy thing....
My (ex)boyfriend and I of 3 years took a "break" about 3 months ago. We still saw each other about once a week and we still talked every day. Well, one night I couldn't get in touch with him, I'd left him numerous messages, and it was important that I talk to him. I've known his voicemail password for years but have never used it before. I checked his voicemail, in the concerns of knowing whether he had gotten my messages or not, and heard a girl's voice telling him to just call her later. That she had went ahead to Buford since he never called her. Or something like that.
I confronted him about it and all he did was get mad that I had checked his voicemail and say that other people had been using his phone all day that it was probably a message for one of them.
Yeah, whatever. He was my best friend and I'm feeling lost without him to talk to but I know I'm doing the right thing by letting him be. We haven't spoken in two weeks.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 12:14pm
I went through the same thing about 4 years ago. I was with him for 6 years, then we got married. He had cheated on me (that I found out about) after our 3 year mark. I broke it off but went back (stupid me). I ended things on our 5 year mark because I wasn't happy. I could not get over the fact that he had cheated on me, it was killing me. Well that lasted about 3 months, he was sending me flowers everyday to work with notes that he loved me blah blah. Well needless to say I got back with him and we decided to get married. After 2 months I was going for a divorce. I found out he was cheating (with my detective work). I found out after I ended it that he started cheating 2 weeks after we were married with this particular person, then I found out he cheated on me ALL the time and he had been doing this for a long time. It hurt SOOOOOO bad even though things were over. I saw him out every now and then and he was still with this girl he cheated on me with, but he was cheating on her bad! I saw it with my own eyes! It gets better, I don't even think about him anymore. I don't care about what happened (I do happen to carry it other relationships, I am not very trusting of partners). What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I can attest to that. I am just recently getting out of another bad relationship (as far as I know he wasn't cheating) but I was just very unhappy. This is actually the first serious relationship I have had since my marriage. He put me last and I couldn't trust him because of things he had done to me. It hurts but I have to say I learned a lot from the 6 year relationship I was in. It taught me to realize when things are going bad and I can end them. I can only do so much to try to work it out, then it's unhealthy and I will leave (as I just did). I am hurt but I know it will pass, just like the first one did :)