Clueless heart.....
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| Thu, 06-01-2006 - 2:30pm |
Married for almost six-years to a man who has changed so much has left me clueless. I am at a loss of where to start, but I know that I need to end the marriage for my sake alone.
We tried for three years to have a child and finally, with success, found out that I was. Excited and glowing, I was working on his computer one day and came across a site that he had not signed out of. Apparently, he was loged into escort sites and stated visiting escorts in various states when he travelled. I checked our phone bills. Sure enough, the numbers were matching, his actions were matching, and I was MAD!
Finally pregnant, having what we both wanted, I was stuck in an odd position. He managed to get his way back into the house. A few months later, he was right back calling these numbers again. The story from the beginning was, "He never met anyone, he just wanted to call and see what it was like." And when he was out of state, he managed to alude that as well because I wasn't there to prove otherwise. Jerk.
Now, when I look at him, there is nothing there. I no longer trust him. I want to with all my heart but everything that I once felt is gone. It feels sometimes like he purposely tries to hurt me. He bought me a nice gift recently; I somehow feel that this means that something is going on again.
Do I try to trust him again or trust my "GUT" and run for the hills? I am looking for what is in the best interest of my baby son and my mental well being!
| Thu, 06-01-2006 - 3:59pm |
| Fri, 06-02-2006 - 10:29am |
