co dependent

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
co dependent
7
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 5:13pm
I have been with a co dependent person for too long. How do I cut it off. I told him and I am waiting for the papers to be ready. I have avoied all 29 calls today alone. I am tired of him calling. He calls me all day long even throughout the early morning hours. I have a job. I can not sleep. I am sick, because of the stress. I hate this. His messages are getting verbally abusive and now he has showed up at my house a couple of times. Stalking is not fun. But what can I do. I have told him its over. A roller coaster ride is not what I want. Leave me alone. We can not make this work. I am tired. His abusive language is enough to call it quits. He gets mad a the smallest things then its all my fault. I am beginning to hate him. But this dependent relationship is over and I am not going to let it go on. How do I make him stop.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: missybee837
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 7:17pm

Yikes, 29 times! That's terrible.

What kind of papers are you referring to? Divorce? Restraining order? Please clarify.

Is he calling you on your cell phone or another number?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: missybee837
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 10:30am
actually its divorce papers.
We have been seperated for over four years though. Only "married" for 5 months.
I have not had the money to file the papers. I know what kind of person he is but when it gets to the point of intrupting my day I get nervous. He has called my office three times but other than that just my cell phone and home phone. I can not change my cell because then he will call my daughters cell. not his kid. So I do not need him harrassing her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2006
In reply to: missybee837
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 10:41am
have you tried a restraining order? This sounds very scary. Is there anyone who can stay with you right now?
You have my prayers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
In reply to: missybee837
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 10:46am
I am okay, I have an alarm on my house and he knows better than to try anything. Its just so sad. co dependent people do not know what to do when something so familiar goes away. its hard for them to cope. I know its best and he will come to his senses. I have to be strong its just hard sometimes. But I am finally ready to stand tall. Thanks for the suggestion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: missybee837
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 12:53pm

You were only married 5 months - separated for 4 yrs - I don't think he's going to come to his senses. I think he's obsessed. I agree with whomever suggested a restraining order and changing telephone numbers (including your daughters).

I'm confused though, do you think him co-dependent or you?


Carrie

Avatar for memphisstars
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: missybee837
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 6:35pm
Restraining order. Immediately. Definitely. If you can't afford an attorney, most counties have a Legal Services to help you.
Avatar for memphisstars
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: missybee837
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 6:41pm

After all this time, you can't make him stop. Only law enforcement can. If he comes by again, I would suggest going to stay with someone or a safe house. Don't feel like you have to take his abuse to protect your daughter. You can get a restraining order for both of you. How much will a restraining order cost? Maybe you can borrow the money.

Sheri, can't she file a restraining order pro se with a minimum of court costs? You may want to see about free legal services in your county. Try your courthouse.