Communication

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2007
Communication
4
Tue, 01-23-2007 - 11:05pm

All he would have to do is talk things out with me. I can't understand WHY that's so hard.

From some great advice, and common sense, that ladies here have pounded into me, I'm done with my man. It's going to be very hard to talk to him and explain why he's not right for me. We're engaged, so wedding plans will need to be cancelled, moms and dads will have to be told, and I'm sure he's going to put me through hell for a while.

I've tried so hard not to cry all day. Work has sucked & things have gone wrong there. At the end of the day, I finally broke down and ran out of work because I lost it. I can't wait for this part of my life to be OVER with and I can move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2007
In reply to: kat1037
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 12:41am

I really admire your strength and courage for doing what you're doing! You are doing the right thing thing! Just remember.....he may blame you for everything (you know it's not you at all), it's going to hurt big time, it's going to hard, but just think this is all worth it for your son. Now your son will never blame you for marrying a man who changed your life and his life in negative way forever...for taking away your happiness and independence, which in turn would have took your son's happiness away too.

Your true friends and family will probably be relieved that you are breaking away from this man who caused you so much stress and unhappiness. Now, you are free again...to be the strong, independent, loving person you are =) Everyday is a new day...one day closer to reaching your dreams and finding the man of your dreams.

When I'm feeling down I like to go to the bookstore and/or library and buy/borrow all the books I can on break ups. It truly helps me. I also like to rent DVDs or watch movies because it makes time go by faster and takes my mind off things. Currently, I'm reading All the Good Ones Aren't Taken by Debbie Magids Ph.D., and Nancy Peske.

It's okay to cry........it's part of the healing process. I wish you the best of luck! You sound like a great person who deserves the world and more. Thank you for showing all of us how to stand up for ourselves and not to settle for less than we deserve!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: kat1037
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 7:51am

kat1037...

Quick comment from PG:

"Isn't it better to know that your fiancee had 'poor communication skills' PRIOR TO YOUR WEDDING instead of learning this during the first year of marriage?"

Breaking things off is only part of your problem.

Surving the "cancellation consequences" and explaining to your co-workers what happened will be equally difficult! But believe it or not...this chapter of your life won't last indefinitely!

Good Luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2007
In reply to: kat1037
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 9:10am

Thank you for your words!!! It truely helps in a time like this.

I know it's silly, but I'm embarrassed by the whole situation and I do not feel comfortable talking to friends and family about it... yet. I guess that's because I haven't talked to the fiance (ex-fiance) yet. And I want to get it out with him first.

Thank you again!

Stay strong!
K

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
In reply to: kat1037
Wed, 01-24-2007 - 1:58pm

Before you have that big discussion with him, I seriously think you need to read three books, maybe even four,

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