Completely lost

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Completely lost
11
Sun, 06-03-2007 - 6:30pm

I've been around Ivillage for a few years and I'm hoping I can receive advice on my current situation.

My ex and I broke up Friday. It's a VERY long and drawn out story. We met through my sister (they are best friends). Both were in the military. He moved to the state I'm in after Katrina (his home was destroyed) and to be closer to my sister.

We started out as FWB and then it obviously progressed into feelings. However, he told me from the beginning that he wasn't ready for a commitment or to settle down. (he's 28, I'm 24). Two weeks ago I told him I was in love with him. I didn't expect anything in return because I knew deep down he didn't feel the same way. We've been fighting a lot and Friday was one of our big fights. We both decided it wasn't working and we needed space. He has stated that he does care a lot about me it's just that we aren't on the same page. He isn't ready to settle down and be committed. We've been together a year and a half and I don't really understand where he's coming from when he states "I don't want to commit or settle down".....He's been with me and only me for over a year? How's that NOT commitment?

The problem I'm facing right now, and the reason I think we have had so many problems is because he and I live RIGHT next door to each other in our apartment building. And, he and I both live RIGHT next door to my sister (his best friend).

Neither one of us can afford to move out. I have absolutely NO clue what to do. How can I move on from a man that I'm in love with if I have to fear coming home every day because I might see him? I can hear him walking around his apartment, hear his radio. I'm so lost. I have nowhere to go and no friends to move in with (99% of my friends are married or have children).

I need some type of advice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 11:15pm

Welcome to the board deliriousdiana,


You are in a difficult situation, however, I'm wonder, when he 'shows up' at your sister's place, how does your sister behave?

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