confused
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confused
| Sun, 07-15-2007 - 6:43pm |
I don't actually want to break up with my boyfriend, I love him more than anything, however lately I just feel that I need a break, not a break up but a break, even if I had just a weekend to myself, where I could do whoever/whatever I wanted.That would be great, but I know my boyfriend isn't a "break" kind of guy. Any advice?

If you feel that you need a break there should be a reason for it. Are you unhappy with the relationship? Is he being dominant? Are you feeling like you're opressed? Do you want to see what's out there? Why do you want the break?
I wonder why you seem to feel intimidated by your BF not being a "break" kind of guy? Are you afraid of him breaking up with you if you tell him how you feel and what you need? If this the case girl then you need a break alright.
When a woman or a man is afraid of asking for what he or she needs there is a red flag that needs attention. If you are afraid of asking for what you need (beak) then you're ignoring your feelings and letting them go to the bottom. However, sooner or later you'll feel the need to get them and see them and take care of them. You'll feel unhappy and bitter. Resentful and angry because your needs are not being met. He feels happy and you're not.
Approach the subject with maturity and seiousness. Express how you feel and the need for a break. Put a timeline to it: 2 weeks, 2 months, 3 months. That way he knows that you respect his time and persona. Asking for a break with no time line is not fair to anyone..basically you'd be saying "I don't know if I'll ever want you again, but please wait till I make up my mind".
I'm not understanding why a weekend away from each other would be a break. That's not a break, that's just personal time. If you approach this thing like it's 'the beginning of the end of the world,' namely, what people usually and mistakenly understand breaks as, then that's exactly what it will be; the end of the world. If you approach it like "hey, I wanna take a couple of days and have a girls' weekend, play with my dog, get a spa facial, catch up on my Wall Street Journal, watch my soaps, etc." then all of a sudden, it's not the end of the world. You should probably incorporate a weekend of alone-time per month, and that should help with the feelings of, "I need a vacation from my relationship."
See?