Confused...
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| Thu, 06-29-2006 - 1:20pm |
Hey..just thought i'd vent some..thought it might help. And if anyone can help me..please reply.
Well, I've been living with my boyfriend for 20 months and i guess he got tired of being around me all the time because he would always go hang out with his friends..more than usual and then all of a sudden decided to go visit his friend in NC for a week. Then he came back and acted strangely and he said he didn't miss me and ends up moving out into his friends house, but he didn't miss anyone. A week later he talks of taking a break and stuff. A couple weeks later a good friend of his says he needs to talk to me and tells me that my boyfried met a girl in NC(his friends sister) and wanted her to come and move in with him and that he was planning on letting me down slowly..and that if she couldn't move in with him then he would stay with me. I talked to my boyfriend and he says that her and her brother were going to come visit..not move in. And how he wants to be with me and loves me. So now it's like I believe him or his friend. But I honestly can not find any reason his friend would lie about that and deep down I know it has to be true..I just don't want to believe it. Even though he could have decided he really wants to be with me now..if I stay with him, the trust is already gone somewhat. I know he does really love me and I believe the problem is just that he got tired of being with me all the time. He did tell me that he got tired of being around me all the time, and I really understand that. He also told me that he did kinda like her and that the other girl does like him, but that he wants to be with me. He also said that it crossed his mind about what it would be like to be with her but thats all it was..and that he's not going to do anything about it. Although it could just be that the girl wasn't able to come move in with him so he's just staying with me because he knows I love him and he loves me and I'm here and she's in NC. But he says he never wanted her to move in with him. Wow, I am so confused.
I can understand that he could have been thinking of the other girl since he was tired of being around me and stuff...but how do I know really what he is feeling now?
I've been driving myself crazy thinking about everything. I know I should just break things off with him, but my heart just doesn't want to. I planned to and then when I went to talk to him it just turned into taking a break. The only actual thing I know anymore is that I love him and he loves me. But when I'm with him part of me believes what he is saying and then I think that we could stay together. Well, if anyone could help me out with this one..that would be great.

I can see why your head would be spinning!
Thanks so much for replying.
I understand what you mean about listening to the "friend". And I know that most of the stuff his friend said were just opinions and what he assumes. The only thing is that his friend said that my boyfriend talked to him and actually told him that he wanted the girl to move in and wanted him to come with him to pick her up. And actually told him that he planned to let me down slowly. Which my boyfriend says there were never plans for her to move in. So I guess I'm just worried that he is actually lieing. I know they are friends.. and I know he talks to her over the phone and on msn messenger. So I guess trust is really the main issue to deal with. Which of course I don't like that he talks to her, considering the fact that she likes him and he kinda liked her....but I guess thats where I have to trust him ..huh?
I will talk to him again and see what he wants in his life and what he wants to do. What type of guidelines/boundries do you mean? or are refering to?...list some examples if you can. That would help.
I do really want to work things out with him and I think us not living together will really help him get his space and like you said..mine too. I guess it never occured to me that most of everything I did involved him and I didn't really focuse on myself much. Which eventually caused him to become tired of me and pushed him away.
Thanks again for the advice.
*sarah*