Confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2005
Confused
3
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 9:12am

My boyfriend and I had our first argument 4 weeks ago. We have been dating for 5 years. He says he needs time before/and if we get back together. I've asked him several times how much time and he says he doesn't know. He won't see me, and he says I cannot go to visit him at his apartment. He's a 50 yr old man who's mother told him not to see me because she had a "vision" that I hurt him. I've never hurt him, and I feel we just shouldn't throw away what we had because of one argument. I've told him that nothing will get resolved as long as he won't see me or talk to me.

I feel I need an answer now...this waiting is making me an emotional wreck. In my mind I've come to the conclusion that he doesn't want me, and I can put him behind me. But then I think that maybe there is a little hope if I just keep quiet. This waiting is tearing me apart. Should I just write him off? I think I deserve better than this.




Edited 10/24/2005 7:20 pm ET by elsie2236
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: elsie2236
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 10:43am

I am sorry..I have to giggle a little..the vision thing is really a hoot. Ever read the Stephanie Plum novels. The heroine is dating this hunkster Joe Morelli. His Gramma is an old Italian lady who puts the eye on people..it just reminded me of this. A little light humor.

If he wants a break or needs time, ladies, goddesses, men, women..everyone, do not sit around and wait..move on..if a person REALLY wanted you and loved you, they would go to the ends of the earth...to BE WITH YOU. Case closed..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: elsie2236
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 10:50am

elsie2236...

First...Pianoguy thinks you need to CALM DOWN! He realizes you're upset, but you won't solve the problem by "ranting and raving" and rushing the separation process!

There's no profile on you, but assuming the fact that you're not a psychological killer with a passion for eliminating men who have reached their 50s...let's look at your history!

The 2 of you have been dating for 5 years WITHOUT ANY ARGUMENTS! This could be a new entry in the Guiness Book of World Records. !

I'm sure you're familiar with the expression: "Loose Lips Sink Ships?" And as difficult as it probably is to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT....DO IT! Maintain your code of silence for up to 2 weeks. It's a safe bet that you'll hear from your b/f at least once or twice before the 14 days are up! But in the event that there's no phone call, email or snail mail card, I'd recommend that you select a NICE (NOT MUSHY) FRIENDSHIP CARD from your favorite store. Write a short note indicating that "it's a shame the 5-year friendship the 2 of us have had together has to end on such a sour note! I miss it...and I MISS YOU!"

Say nothing more! Just mail the card to his address. It's now his choice to either respond or let go of someone who has been very special in his life?

As for his Mother's premonition...maybe one of the meds she takes has been messing with her head? :)

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
In reply to: elsie2236
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 4:47pm

Wow, that is a little odd...


If I were in your shoes, I would not contact him for awhile to see what he does.

Nikki