Confused and beyond sad
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| Mon, 05-21-2007 - 11:58pm |
Three weeks ago, my boyfriend came over and stated he was no longer wanted a relationship anymore after a blissful 6 months of getting to know each other. I was completely shocked at his declaration because I thought we had made it through the rough patch we currently were in. Prior to the breakup we were spatting back and forth for two - three weeks, because I was feeling unappreicated and all he was concerned about was hanging out with his friends. Currently we are both college seniors, but he graduated in May, while I have another semester to go. At the time of breaking up, he claimed that right now he is confused with the relationship. He claims that I am a person he would love to commit to, but right now he's not prepared to give the 110% to relationship. He admits that he is a person goes through tranisitions alone, and doesn't know how to incorporate a girlfriend in the mix as well. I tried explaining that I understand where he is coming from and was willing to put the relationship on the backburner, but he wouldn't agree to that. He said that he didn't want to put the relationship on the back burner, because in hindsight we would end up fighting with each other more. Throughout the relationship he would look me in the eyes and tell me that he loves me and that I am great girl and he's going to regret this decision, but its something he has to do.
He has contacted me after the breakup and we ended up consoling for two nights, until I realized that it was wrong and I needed not to contact him. I have done the no contact rule for the past 3 weeks, with one or 2 email slip ups. Since we both live in close promixity with each other, we run into each other often (whether its a bar or store, etc). It is difficult to walk past him and act like I don't know him, but I am hoping what I am doing is for the best.
I am completely confused as to what to do. Do I just give him space to figure out what he wants, while I find myself again or do I completely write him off as a jerk who doesn't know what he wants in life. I really hope that in time we find each other again (whether its together or friendship) but right now its so hard to get past it. Any suggestions?

It seems that after that blissful 6 months of dating he might have realized that he wasn't proving you with what you needed: enough attention. You felt unappreciated and he felt he couldn't give you more. His priorities weren't yours.
To me, the break-up and continued telling you "you're a nice girl but I can't commit to you" is just a way to let you down easy. He needs to find out his path somewhere else. You need to let go and move on with your life. If he comes back then at that time you can decide what to do. Waiting will not guarrantee you a relationship.
Hi datuncgirl,
I think they should offer a 'dating' class in high school.