confused, depressed, and broken hearted

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
confused, depressed, and broken hearted
5
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 12:40pm
Hey everyone. Well I was dating my boyfriend for almost 7 years and we had been living together for almost 2 years when out of nowhere we told me his feelings for me had changed. This took place about 3 weeks ago and ever since it's been nothing but lies. First he said he wanted to work on things and spend more time together (we both work and I am also going to school). Then he said I can move out if I want, which the thought had never even crossed my mind until then. Then he said that he did want me to move out. This all took place within a week and a half.
I moved out about 2 weeks after having the initial conversation, and since then I have found out he was been dating someone that he works with. At first he told me that this had nothing to do with another girl and that he wanted time to figure out where he wants to go in life. Then he told me he was "kinda seeing" a girl he had met through a mutual friend of ours, bringing this friend into our problems for no reason at all. Finally, he admitted that he had met her about 2 months ago when she got a job at the same company as him.
I don't know what to do. I'm absolutely crushed that he would treat me so horribly after all that we had together. We were each others first loves, best friends, companions. I loved him more than anything, and we were even planning to marry once I finished school. Now he acts as if I meant nothing to him at all. He betrayed my trust, my love, and kicked me out of his life. There is absolutely no way that I could ever be with him again! But at the same time that I'm feeling so hurt and angry, I can't get past all the memories and love that we once had. I miss the person that he used to be more than I can say! What can I do to get past all these emotions and get on with my own life? Please help!
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 1:16pm

Oh, I'm sorry for the pain you're going through. As far as what you do...the same as the rest of us who have gone through a breakup...you cut off contact with your ex, and you start moving forward, one day at a time. Unfortunately, there's really no substitute for letting time pass..."the only way out is through".

Having gone through more breakups than I care to count, I can assure you WILL get to the other side, eventually. However, knowing that doesn't necessarily make it any easier to get through. But you have to go through the process--there are no shortcuts.

But the sooner you stop talking to him, the sooner you can start the healing process.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 3:19pm

hi bsmiley

i guess what happen to your relationship that his feeling faded. coz maybe i'm assuming that you guys been dating since you are younger and never dated anyone else. maybe he GOT bored or what ever. now he wants to see and try something else that he has more challeging relationship.

but onething i could tell you...if that relationship that he has right now didnt work out..trust me..he will be knocking your door and begging you. guys are like that they are crazy!!

but if that time comes. its UP to you IF YOU want to open that door and take that risk again. IF EVER LET HIM LEARN HIS LESSON SO HE WONT DO IT AGAIN!

GOOD LUCK

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 4:40pm

Hello,

I am so sorry that you had to go through all this but take it from me, it DOES get easier. My ex and I were together for 5 years and we just broke up about 1 month ago. To be honest with you, the not talking and seeing other was SO hard at first but it makes it so much easier to get over it. Just make sure that you keep busy with friends and family and although i know how hard it is, try not to think about it as much as possible. And when you catch yourself not thinking about it and being happy, remind yourself that you will be ok and that you will get through this.
Hang in there, stay strong and remember that just because this one didn't work out, it just means that there is something bigger and better waiting out there for you. I thought that me and my ex were gonna be togetehr forever, we bought an engagement ring and were getting ready to live together and then boom, its over. But im glad I found it out now and not later when we had kids and everything.
Anyway, just be strong and you will be ok....

Take care of yourself,
catgirl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 4:55pm

((((HUGS))))

I know what you are going through. I know the pain that comes along with it too. These past couple of days all I want to do is roll into the fetal position and stay at home. But life goes on. Look at it this way, you are one step closer to find the person you deserve.

With the length of your relationship I would even suggest counseling and talking to your doctor about anti-depressants. I know it helped me tremendously.

Keep your head up!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2006
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 11:33pm
hi. the same thing happened to me. late feb for me. read my post. i don't know what you can do. We have to ride through the wonder and the pain, I think. it's terrible. i too am crushed. i cry from thoughts alone, not needing to listen to sappy music or watch love films. I am sorry that this happened to you b-smiley.
i guess all we can do is to be patient with ouselves. and do't go contacting him.