Confused i guess?? or Wondering
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Confused i guess?? or Wondering
| Thu, 01-24-2008 - 1:24pm |
Ive been posting here on and off and almost 2 months ago my gf decided to end our relationship.
| Thu, 01-24-2008 - 1:24pm |
Welcome to the board crlnaqt00,
::but my ? is....this girl she is now with, would you consider her a rebound or someone shes using to take her mind off me and move on?
Thing is, if she gave you chance after chance and you never "got it" with her, she has every reason to believe you won't get it now, even if you do now actually get it.
There is someone on the board who got back together with their ex after infidelity on the the ex's part. Things seemed to be gong well for a little bit, but the truth is that the mistrust on her part was still simmering under the surface, and the first time her ex did something even remotely similar to trigger that mistrust again, she left him again, this time for good and there's no going back, even though she knows she still loves him, she's not going back to that because that wasn't a good relationship for either of them anymore.
Don't know what you've got 'til it's gone is so very true, but that doesn't mean that once you're hit by the bolt of lightning that the ex will come back, many times it just means that you know better for the next person that comes into your life. Relationships are our very best learning tools. Learn finally how to deal with your issues because if you don't, they will rear up their ugly heads and do this to you again. And you'll keep doing it until you do finally learn and do something about it, so may as well be now.
I saw nothing in your post regarding what you are actively dong to address your trust issues and how you are controlling your insecurity or jealousy. Just saying "I know it's wrong" isn't nearly enough. "I'll change," or "I'll be different/better/etc." is trite. No one has to put up with that from anyone, least of all the person with whom you are in a primary relationship. DO something about it, for your own sake. You deserve to have the very best relationship you can, so start learning now how to create that for yourself.
As far as this other girl, who knows if she's a rebound or if she's the real deal. I've seen it go both ways, I've experienced it both ways. Only time will tell. In the meantime, you've got work to do.
Best,