confused Teenager

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2006
confused Teenager
3
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 9:31am
Hello. So. I am 19 in college. This guy has liked me since last yr but he looked kinda dorky and akward. This year, he fixed his hair a bit and grew a little and maybe I'm shallow but he looks a bit better even though he is akward and dorky and arrogant too. He basically "stalked" me into going out w him..haha. He would always call me, im me and ask me to hang out till I finally did. We began seeing each other casually and he said he was in love one night intoxicated..I said he wasn't. This was since September. Now it is Feb....We have been without a real title for some time now because I told him I didn't want the title of a relationship..I don't know why maybe because I was scared of what everyone would think...he's not the coolest guy..and i don't love him or anything much. I said ok, i'll try the relationship thing once back in like Nov or so and then said i'd rather go abck to no title...it was just too confining. Now, we have beenkinda dating exclusively and when we go on dates he doesnt offer to pay for me..he alwways says like "how should we split this" If I am sleeping with him and we r bascally ina relationship without the title, we are not seeing anyone else, shouldnt he pay for me once? Even if we went to a fancy restaurant on his birthday and a museum and nice things..he's well off but whatever. Latley he has been kind of talking down to me..and acting even more arrogant. He called me an idiot at dinner once because ir ead something wrong and he went along with it but once he realized what the mistake was, he called me an idiot. The sex is ok..he wants it all the time..but I just dont feel so attracted to him to wanna have sex..and he's starting to get a bit stalker ish. I decided in late Jan i wanted to try to be in a relationship wth him..maybe to see if he would pay for me or what not..he started instant messaging me like 50 times a day and asking to hang out every second and getting super jealous at every guy talking to me. He even watched me to see when i would come back on to AIM on the buddylist and would notice when i would go idle or not. Not its kind of akward and i told him he is acting condescending towards me. He is apologizing but he invited me to stay with him for break at his house for a few days..in 3 weeks..I don't know if I wanna dtay with him or not and I can't realize or decide it..I feel like maybe I can do better..and he is so arrogant and speaks down to me..and i'm not even really attracted to him or liked him from the start..he kinda made me like him but hes crazy aboutme..i can tell. and how can i tell if i want him and that I won't make a huge mistake?Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 12:39pm
WELL SO FAR SO GOOD WHAT I COULD SEE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT!!! YOU GUYS ARE TEENAGER REGARDING THE MONEY MATTER YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND IF HIS WORKING OR NOT.BUT IF THIS GUY IS WORKING AND HIS LETTING YOU PAY OR PAY THE HALF THATS NOT SOUND GOOD TO ME..HEHEHEHE AND IF YOUR TO SCARED OF COMMITMENT EVERY GIRLS ARE EVEN ME.. IT DOESNT REALLY MATTER IF YOUR TEENAGER OR MATURED ...WELL YOU MUST LEARN FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE.. ITS UP TO YOU HOW U GOING TO HANDLE THIS RELATIONSHIP..MY FRIENDLY ADVISE FOR YOU DONT GET HIM GET USED TO WHAT YOUR DOING NOW AND WHAT ABOUT ONE DAY YOU FALL WITH THIS GUY YOU NEVER KNOW..SOMETIMES EXCITEMENT AND VERY CHALLEGING RELATIONSHIP WILL END UP YOU GETTING DEVELOP AND IF THATS HAPPEN GIRLFRIEND ITS GONNA HURT SPECIALLY AT THE START OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP YOU LET EVERYTHING WHATEVER AND AT THE END YOU END UP THE ONE THAT HURT....REMEMBER IF YOUR INLOVE "LOVE HURT"
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2005
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 11:51am

hi there,
i think this was doomed from the start because you were never really into him, and why you decided to even start anything remotely close to a "romantic" relationship with him, i'm not sure...i think you need to look into that, you might discover something about yourself. it also doesn't seem like you're even into him now, so i'm not sure why you are confused about what to do, it seems pretty obvious that you shouldn't be with him...mainly because you seem to be pretty sure that you haven't and are still not into him. and if that weren't enough, the fact that he talks down to you, calls you an idiot...stalks you, never pays for you etc...all very bad signs.

good luck.

Avatar for lisa19722001
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2005
Sat, 02-04-2006 - 4:52am
Why are you with someone you dont care about? END IT. You are only 19 years old. He is obviously an ass and you deserve better than that. Dont you want a MAN who will give you respect??? He is treating you like a sucker and you are allowing it. I wouldnt sleep with him anymore because all you need is to end up being pregnant by this guy and then you are stuck with at least seeing him for 18 years. Dump this guy.