confused...he called
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confused...he called
| Sun, 05-13-2007 - 4:00pm |
I was dating this guy for about three months and we broke up about a month ago. I care for him a great deal still even though I have been dating other guys and trying to get over him.
Anyway, I have not spoken to him since it ended.
But he called me the other night and left a message asking how I was doing...I am not sure if I should call him back or not.
Can anyone tell me what this means...? If anything. I still want to be friends even though we are not together anymore.
Anyway, I have not spoken to him since it ended.
But he called me the other night and left a message asking how I was doing...I am not sure if I should call him back or not.
Can anyone tell me what this means...? If anything. I still want to be friends even though we are not together anymore.

hi emily! don't do it! don't call that man!
my ex- did the same thing. in fact, he does it at least once a week now- either a call or a text. i never answer the calls, and i'm working on not responding to the text messages. he's trying to see if you are still a fan of his, still has feelings for him so he can feel good about himself. don't let him do that to you. he's trying to keep a hook in you so that he can say hi and see how you are doing.
stick to your no contact.
you can do it. every time you want to contact him, just post here instead, or even contact me!
when you are all healed and ready to friends, then YOU should contact him, not the other way around!
Edited 5/13/2007 5:57 pm ET by ccheckers
Emily,
You should do what you feel is best for you. It seems that he still cares for you as you do for him. If you feel that you are healed enough to speak with him calmly and find out what he has been up to then I say do it. I don't know him so I can't speak to his reasons for calling you but whatever his intentions are (good or bad) you need to do what you think you can handle.
Hope that helps a little bit! Sorry it wasn't more direct but this really is a decision only you can make. Good luck!
I know how hard it is, but DON'T CALL HIM BACK! I don't know why guys do this...part of me thinks it's so they can not feel guilty about ending things, who knows, but if you are still not over him, I don't think you should be talking to him. And there is nothing wrong with taking time to get over a relationship, breakups are hard, and I know that no contact sucks sometimes but it is 100% necessary.
Hang in there!
Without knowing the circumstances of your relationship or breakup, it's really hard to say whether this would be a good idea or not. Did you two break up on good terms (sounds weird, but it's possible), was there abuse, infidelity, disrespect or dishonesty in your relationship, did you simply go too fast, were either of you just getting out of something else? So many possibilities.
The only thing I can say is, if it was a generally good relationship and amicable breakup, for three months's time in relationship and one month post-breakup, under those circumstances it may be okay to take a risk and see what he has to say. Everyone's situation is different, do what's right and healthy for you.