Confusion and heartbreak

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Confusion and heartbreak
2
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 1:41am

Hi, I am new to this board. I just need a place to vent and heal...

Here's my story.

My fiance and I just broke up a few weeks ago. We were in this relationship for 2.5 years, and he was everything to me. We were both Christians, and we tried to bring God into our relationship. However, i think he took parts of it too far.

On Sunday evening, I expected him to come over to my home to see me, and maybe go get a bite to eat. He called me, and said he would be over in an hour. After two hours passed, I decided to call him. He rudely said "Well, didn't you figure out that I wasn't coming by now?". It was uncalled for, and I was a bit shocked. He then hung up without saying I love you, which he never did. I began to worry that night.

The next day, he actually showed up. After sitting in silence for some time, I decided to ask him what was bothering him. After beating around the bush some, he finally said that he was thinking about breaking up with me. This was a complete shock, because our relationship had always been pretty good. This came out of NOWHERE. He said that "God was deciding for him" and that none of it was his fault, it was God's. Don't get me wrong, I believe that you should listen to what God has to say about your life, and follow his will for your life. However, just two months prior to this discussion, God had told him that we were "meant to be together and would get married someday." According to my prior knowledge of God and the bible, God doesnt lie.

I told him to leave, and come back when he figured out what he wanted to do. The next day, he came back again. And he acted as if nothing was wrong, like he hadn't just threatened to break my heart 24 hours earlier! After a few minutes, I asked him if he knew what he wanted to do. He said he wanted to end the relationship. This all came out of NOWHERE! God suddenly told him that he had made a mistake?

"Oops, sorry- wrong woman. You aren't supposed to be with her."...?

I was confused and heartbroken. He just left me there, with my engagement ring sitting on the floor. It was over, just like that.

Now his family (Actually his sister) is talking meanly about me behind my back, and he is not stopping them. Actually, he is lying about me, and about our relationship! I hear crazy things about me, that just arent true. On top of everything, I found a huge amount of pornography on the computer I used to share with him in MY home. H lied to me about everything... he was never who I thought he was.

Not only was I heartbroken, but I also feel betrayed and angry. I just need support from someone who cares. I lost my one true love, my friends, his family (who were like my family), and my dignity. He screwed up my future by keeping me from going to school , keeping me from obtaining my goals/dreams. I feel so lost, and so ANGRY!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 3:15am

I'm very sorry for the painful situation you're experiencing. It's very hard to accept that it's over, but as soon as you do it, the healing process will start. Take time for yourself and grieve the loss of your loved one. You'll feel angry, depressed and will later on bargain with your high power for him to come back to you. Later on will come acceptance and then you'll be able to move on.

This experience has been painfull and heartbreaking for you, but will leave you a valuable lesson: Don't become the woman he wants, don't ever loss yourself in the relationship, don't be accommodating and don't give up your dreams. Be yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 07-07-2007 - 4:54pm

Welcome to the board chewyschick,


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