contact from the ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
contact from the ex
6
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 11:56am
My ex sent me an email this morning. But it is only to ask if I've seen his jacket at my house. Kind of a let-down. I think I DO have his jacket. But I don't want to see him. And I don't want to be rude. What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2006
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 12:49pm

Tell him you do and you'll leave it on your front porch. Or drop it on his front porch without even contacting him. Or...even better...do you have a mutual friend you could pass it through? It would be best if you could do it without having to reply to him.

Steph
http://www.myspace.com/stephfaris

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 12:53pm

It got a little more complicated. I didn't respond to his email and he wrote again and said "Yes, this is a thinly-veiled attempt to see you and talk to you."

I wish he'd said that from the start. But I'm afraid if we talk it'll just hurt more. I want him to want me back, but for me to go back he has to be willing to commit.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 12:55pm

ARE YOU SURE YOU DONT WANT TO SEE HIM?

OKAY THEN LET YOUR FRIEND OR SOMEONE TO GIVE IT TO HIM!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 2:47pm

Did he break up with you, or did you break up with him? I apologize, I can't immediately remember the details of your situation.

Sheri

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-23-2006 - 2:59pm

Ok, I went back and found your first post.

I think the best thing for you to do is send him an email clearly stating that talking to him is too painful for you right now and you need him to not contact you so you can heal and move on. The only reason he should contact you is if he is 100% ready to commit to marrying you and willing to go with you to couples counseling (I personally would need the latter in order to feel "safe" in allowing him another chance; you may or may not need that).

As far as his jacket, I'd either mail it to him or figure out if there's a place where he can pick it up without you having to see him.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 4:13pm
Give it back, the same thing happened to me. Deep down inside you're holding on to it as a small way of keeping a little contact with him because eventually we both know he'll ask for it. Once you give it back, you'll be able to move on. Don't leave anything of his in your house if you can help it but do things when you're ready, allow someone to give it back to him for you or drop it off w/o him knowing you're doing it. Girl, he's not worth your time anymore, time heals all wounds, it's been 5 months for me & I feel good, met someone else & completely moved on. Do yourself a favor & leave him alone for good unless you want what you know you're not gonna get from him.. WHICH IS REAL LOVE..