Contact or No Contact?
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| Wed, 01-09-2008 - 12:05pm |
There have been recent threads regarding some of us having contact with our exes, when no contact is normally the rule
Having been doing "contact" myself, I would like to express what I am realizing (and I am no therapist!!)
I absolutely see the need for NC in a majority of situations; and I could see that maybe my situation might have called for no contact as well, but I was kind of a wuss and allowed him to call. I kind of weened him off of me I guess. I knew it was over when I broke it off and I was in a place that was not going to allow me to let him back into my life romantically. He knew this also, as he had hurt me one too many times and he understood why we needed to let this go- even though it is not what he wanted.
He did not want NC, we tried the friends thing. Its finally clicking in. I think "contact" may only work when BOTH parties realize there is NO reconciliation coming.

Well, the other side of this is that he would have had to have gone cold turkey (wouldn't have had a choice) if you didn't have contact with him, and it's entirely possible that he might have come to the realization that there was no chance of reconciliation sooner than 3 months into it.
I understand what you're saying, but he knew right away there was no chance of reconciliation, as we had been there/done that.
Since I just posted on this topic today, I just wanted to say that I agree with you!