Contacted him....
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 03-07-2007 - 8:04pm |
Hi everybody,
I would really appreciate any insight. Sorry the post came out pretty long :)
A week and a half ago, I broke up with my bf of 4 years. Our relationship was difficult mostly because of exterior factors (his unresolved baggage, living on different continents..).
Normally we were planning to get reunited again, have a family, etc...
Lately, we`re been fighting a lot. Both of us have been under tremendous stress. Him, fixing his things with his ex (long story), working very long hours in a sales job. Me, with my studies. I was extremely stressed because as I`m finishing my semester I needed to decide whether I needed to look for a job here or starting planning to relocate with him to his country. I wanted us to do a budget with our future expenses which required some research from his side, which was not a priority for him...I also felt that at 29, I don`t have much time and absolutely need to have a baby as soon as possible....
I was pushing it, he was avoiding me (all that in a LDR)....Basically I couldn`t take it anymore and after yet another fight, said that I wanted to break up.
I broke up because I couldn`t take the stress, not because I didn`t love him. Of course I tried to explain my reasons to him so that things were very clear. Somehow I was hoping that he would do something to retain me. He just said that he`s not going to beg me, but he didn`t seem like he wanted to let me go either. He was saying that normally in March, he should advance in his negociations with his ex (divorce settlement)...and that he couldn`t believe that we`re not together anymore. He also said he loved me.
Few days ago I called him trying to talk, but basically inside me, I wanted to hear that he doesn`t want to separate ( I know it`s pathetic). I told him that a separation should not be one-sided and that I love him, it`s just sometimes I feel desperate because of our circumstances and I asked if he really wanted to break up.
He was very vague with his answer , as I started pushing for a straight answer, he that I`m making things ugly (they were not ugly, but he just doesn`t like confrontations) and on that my calling card finished. I cryed and right away sent him a good-bye email.
And wednesday in the morning, I sent him an email (which he opened, I received the confirmation), suggesting that when things calm down, we think about our relationship. I admitted that I was pushing a lot instead of listening to him and explained why I felt so stressed. I told him that I can stay here and wait until he fixes his things with his ex and only then we`ll talk about relocating, etc.
I said that he didn`t have to answer me right away and he didn`t, and I`m worried now :)
So my question is: do you think that since he said he loved me and he supposedly had no intentions of leaving me( he was just tired of fighting ), he should have answered me something ? Like: Yes, I want to think about it or No, just leave me alone? But something ?
May be he just needs time before he answers ?
Thanks so much
Edited 3/7/2007 8:49 pm ET by sireanita
Edited 3/8/2007 3:34 pm ET by sireanita

Hi sireanita,
I'm not sure what to say.
Today, he sent me a card for women's day, a date to which he usually didn't pay attention, but still no answer to my email....