crutch

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2007
crutch
3
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 2:12am
Well i have been doing really well.
i felt really good. he called me today. Im not really sure why. but he did and we were having an ok conversation. I was in a really good place today.
Then he throws in there, 'the more time we spend apart, the more i dont want to be with you.'
He calls me to just bring me down! to make sure im feeling bad.
I called him back to ask him why hes letting 9 years go down the drain and why he cant look me in the eye in person like a man to tell me its over.
I found out its because he has a crutch. he is seeing somebody else. a somebody that is my complete opposite and just getting out of a two year relationship. i am infuriated!! he is so happy because the begining of a relationship feels good and he is not giving me a dignified goodbye.
this is ridiculous
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
In reply to: peace55
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 8:58am
Ouch..."the more time we spend apart, the more I don't want to be with you." That's mean! But it is EXACTLY what my ex would say I bet! I think next time, you may NOT want to take his phone call.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2007
In reply to: peace55
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 9:32am

Do NOT talk to him anymore. If he calls, don't answer, if he emails, hit delete. You gave him an opportunity for a respectful and considerate end to your relationship, and instead he made you feel worse. EVEN IF weeks, months or years from now his conscience catches up with him , and he realizes that he owed you a little better, it's too late - there's only so much pain you can allow someone to put you through and he reached his limit when he couldn't look you in the eye, explain that things had changed and he was no longer invested in the relationship the way he felt he should be, thank you for the wonderful years, and then leave you in peace and allow you to heal.

He's made sure to find ways (a person?) to make this all easier for HIM, you need to make sure you find ways to make this easier for YOU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
In reply to: peace55
Fri, 08-03-2007 - 1:52pm
Wow, what a peice of work this guy is. I agree with gal_astoria. Don't give this guy another chance at treating you badly. He had a chance to have an adult conversation with you and he turned it into something ugly. Turn the page. I would definatley use the no contact rule. Involve yourself in good things that make you happy and let the ex take his misery to his new flame, and leave you alone. This guy isn't giving you a dignified goodbye because he is not dignified. Sounds like you dodged a bullet with this guy. Let his new flame worry about his problems and go have a cocktail!