Curiosity..why?
Find a Conversation
Curiosity..why?
| Thu, 10-06-2005 - 9:15am |
When my ex and I split, he met a new woman right away and started a fling. During my mental stage (we split on the phone) I asked ALL kinds of things about her and their relationship. Now I want to know nothing.
Why are we so curious about the replacement model? How can we stop obssessing on him/her?
For me, I just repeat, "I do not care" and try to focus on me. I recall what was bad about my relationship and move on as best as I can. Also I feel bad for her a tiny bit because he still wants to be with me.
Trying to take care of me..each day is a little better and no contact is key.

I totally feel where you are coming from. I dont know why we obsess over it either. It eventually goes away because we get use to the fact that they have moved on. It just hurts they do it so quickly like they just weren't happily in love with us days/weeks/months prior to meeting some new fling.
Its been 2 months since me and my ex split and I made it a goal to KNOW EVERYTHING about the woman he slept with and introduced our kids to 2 weeks after it was over between us. It was a sick obsession that I had and now Im just like - I dont give a damn. He can do what he wants to do because THERE IS ONLY ONE OF ME - no one will love him like I do.
Knowing the man still loves you anyway and still wants to be with you says what about your obession with this other woman??? Insecurity. Thats why we focus on it. "what does she have that I dont."
Gotta get that self-esteem up and be secure with whom you are. Tell yourself no woman can match up to me. Thats how I get through it. Depending on the relationship (who was at fault for the breakup) - you can really gas yourself up to believe that you are the best thing that ever happened to him, no one will ever compare. Dont fool yourself by saying these things...believe them.
She is a rebound/fling and those NEVER last.
Yes, it's all about self esteem. There are some interesting points:
I was the best thing to happen to him..his first real love and he knows that and appreciated me so much.
Due to our LD relationship he needed and wanted sex. He met someone who gave him what he needed for that moment. Now, who knows and frankly I care little. I know what was wrong with our relationship and well she can have his moods and anger. She can have the things that created stress for me.
Now I envision the kind of man I want to meet and will not settle for less. In the meanwhile I will work on my stuff so when Mr. Wonderful comes to me, I am fully settled and healed.
Ya, she has him now..and who knows what she has..but I got to stop dwelling on who she is, what they do, ...got to..for my sanity..
Thanks for the kind reply. It gets me thru the rough moments.