cutting ties for good with ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2003
cutting ties for good with ex
2
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 10:18am

Although we broke up more than a year ago, my ex and I have stayed in contact. I tried to date other men but nothing ever came of it. My ex then started contacting me again-- not wanting to get back together, but just to spend time together, dinner movies, stuff like that. We've fooled around but deep down I always knew that his views on marriage would never change-- basically he has no idea when he wants to get married although he's in his early 30s and, to top it off, he things it's just a piece of paper anyway. Still, I couldn't seem to push him away completely. I tried, but it was hard and we always had such good times together and never fought. We've just always enjoyed each other's company and have so much in common that it seemed silly just to stop talking altogether.

Well, after being single for a while, I've now found someone new who wants what I want out of life. He's a wonderful man and I feel good about it. Which means it's now time to stop communicating with my ex, at least for several months. I know that if I still email, text, call or even just see my ex for coffee that it will cause big time problems with this new guy and I don't want to risk blowing it with him for someone who may never plan on gettinng married at all and hasn't even mentioned the subject since we broke up. I have to have this conversation with the ex soon. He's been emailng me a lot and wants to see me this weekend but I don't think it's a good idea. I know it's going to hurt him to be told that he can't contact me anymore, that there's been someone else on my mind for the last few weeks. Do I even tell him I'm seeing someone new? This is going to come as a major shock to him as he hasnt been dating anyone else and seems to expect to have me in his life indefinitely.

Now I totally understand why they say when you break up you should cut all ties and stick to that. As a result of that rule I now I have "break up" with my ex all over again, and the stupid thing is we're not even really together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 4:03pm

Welcome to the board iv_sunnygirl,


Be upfront with him and tell him the truth.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 4:40pm
I agree that it would be fair to the new guy to cut all ties with the old guy. Just call him and tell him the truth. I know it will be hard. Let us know how it goes.