Dating Dilemma

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Dating Dilemma
3
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 10:00pm

Here's a tough question: How do I break up with a guy I'm not really dating?


You see, I met this guy on a dating site. He lives about a thousand miles away and we've never met in person. We talk on the phone for a couple of hours about once a week. He's a great guy and I consider him a good friend. We have tons in common, but I just don't feel anything romantic for him. Unfortunately, he thinks we're in a romantic relationship and his entire family is calling me his girlfriend.


I'm having a tough time with this because, great though he is, I just can't have romantic feelings for someone I've never met. And I'm not even sure I'll have romantic feelings once we do meet. When we come right down to it, the more we talk, the more I think of him as a brother or a cousin. Meanwhile, he's asking me "hypothetically" where I'd want to go on a honeymoon.


I really don't know what to do here. I'm afraid I could fall for a guy in my own town and end up breaking this guy's heart. I really don't want that. But I can't just wait for him to meet someone else where he lives and call off our one-sided romance. What do I do? Keep in mind that he's a really sensitive, somewhat inexperienced guy and I'm hoping to not destroy him completely when I tell him I just want to be friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 12:31am

Well dear you're "dating" a man who thinks in his mind that you're goung to marry, and even before meeting in person he's talking about the honeymoon! Have you followed his lead/ I sense that you've lead him to believe that you're indeed G/B. His family thinks that you're the soon to be wife!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 1:26am
i agree. you gotta nip this in the bud before he becomes even more attached. being afraid to hurt his feelings will most likely end up resulting him being 100 times more hurt later on.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 1:29am
Yeah, I think I have to take that into consideration. I admit that I've usually been kind of quiet about his romanticized ideas, though I have told him more than once that I want to take things slow and not rush into a committed relationship. Luckily, we both have a lot of things going on in our respective lives so we don't chat much. Thanks.