From Dating to Exclusivity to Dating
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| Thu, 12-29-2005 - 11:47am |
I started seeing a really great guy over the summer. After a couple of months and meeting his family, we decided to be exclusive. It was really great for the next couple of months until I found out that his family does not approve of our relationship due to the fact that I was married and divorced (by the age I was 23, I am now almost 28). I was really shocked that they felt this way as we had all gotten along so well.
In the next month, he went home for Thanksgiving and then once more but did not invite me along either time. When I finally confronted him about the reason, he confirmed that it was due to them not being happy about our relationship. I asked him if his family was causing him stress about it and he said yes and that they would feel better if we just 'dated' but were not 'serious' or 'exclusive'. To me this felt like a demotion, and I agreed but we did not speak for a week or so.
Before the Xmas break, we had a night out and we talked about it and agreed that right now was not the best time for us to be serious, but he said that he still really wanted to date me and see me and that it would upset him if I dated others but that he understood.
Since then, I have started dating. I feel a little guilty about it because I do still date my ex casually. I am not sleeping with any of these men that I date but I also have not told him because I feel unless he asks it is not really any of his business since he thought it would be best if we were not serious anyway.
My attitude is that unless he says that he is going to stand up to his family and bring me home regardless of how they feel and want a serious relationship with me regardless of how they feel, that I am not going to feel guilty about dating around. I would love to have a serious relationship with him again and often find myself wanting to tell him this but I am thinking that the ball is really in his court.
Thoughts??

I think you're wasting your time dating him casually. That's not what you want, so why do it? Besides, nothing is going to change with respect to his family unless HE changes it...so how is dating him casually going to get you where you want to be?
I think your best bet would be to break it off altogether and ask him to call you if and when he decides he wants to resolve the issue with his family so that the two of you can date seriously.
Sheri