Day 7 NC - It's his b-day today HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2007
Day 7 NC - It's his b-day today HELP!
1
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 1:10pm

I am going crazy! We've been broken up since March but still kept some contact here and there. After 1 week NC, on April 14 he saw me out with a guy whom he had seen me with during our last break up. He started calling and calling leaving me messages because I wouldn't answer. He went on saying he hopes that I am happy. He remembered I had told him that the guy was good to me and treated me well and that he understands because I deserve more than he could give me, etc., etc. Then it turned into - I knew it. My intuition was right. He thought I had been cheating on him with that guy. I felt bad so I left him a text saying he was wrong about the intuition. We got to talking on Sunday for like 3 hours just about nothing with long silences but potential considerations for getting back together. He said we should do dinner Wednesday.

Wednesday came around and I went to his house. We hung out and watched a b-ball game and I had to run some errands. When I got back, it was late and I was tired so I stayed the night. I didn't want to have sex with him and we just went to sleep holding each other. It was perfect. Just what I wanted. Next morning he wants to try to have sex and I said No. I asked him if he understood why and he said "Because XXX has a bigger di^K, I don't know." I was angry I told him to F off and I left. He called me asking why I was bothered, I told him that he's basically calling me a slut without saying the words and he said that wasn't it but he would understand if I had been with someone else because we hadn't been together for over a month. I said why? Did you? he said yes! Ugh.. Anyway, we talked about it. He said she didn't mean anything and that she was just filling a void since he didn't see us getting back together so he figured why not.

Until then, I thought there was hope for us. Clearly not. He apologized and said sorry for hurting me. This was Thursday morning. I talked to him a few times that night and sent him a lst text Friday saying how it sucked and how painful it was. He apologized. That was it. I go out Friday night and he's at the same place. We ignored each other. His friend stopped me to talk and said I should turn around because he was right there. I said no, thanks. Kept walking.

It's now 7 NC. I can't help obsess. It's his b-day. All I can think of is how much fun he's going to have tonight. How that girl is the one he's going to sleep with. How it hurts. Help please! I don't want to call. I have nothing to say and there's nothing he can say to make me feel better. I just need to hear something to help me get past it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2006
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 3:40pm

DO NOT CALL! It will do nothing but make you feel worse. TRUST me on this one.

Think of all the scenarios...

-->You call, he answers, you get into an argument, you get off the phone, feel even worse than you did before...

-->You call, he doesn't answer, you leave a message, he doesn't return your call. You feel even worse than you did before...

-->You call, he answers, you have a nice converstation. A Couple days later, you feel worse than you did before...

See what I mean. There's no possible way to call him and feel better.

What you need to do right now is go out with some friends, and keep yourself busy so you're not thinking about the fact that its his birthday.

If you need to e-mail me on my profile and I can help some more.

~Amber