day one - ok so far but.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
day one - ok so far but.....
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 2:47pm
I know it's only a matter if time before I get lonely....We have broken up so many times and it's the same every time. I know we are not meant to be so i get the nerve up and leave, a few weeks or months go by, I start dating, I run into a couple losers, begin to think no other guy will ever take care of me or understand me the way he did, I call, we hang out, we're back together. Then 3 months later I'm exactly in the same place I started out, getting up the nerve to leave again.
I dont want to do it again. I just want to move on with my life for the last time. I think my biggest problem is that the man in my life ends up being my lover and my best closest friend. I have acquaintances but I dont keep many close friends, and the ones I do have - definately none that can fill that big a void. I know I should be out there making new friends, and meeting new people but I am also a single mom of two so a big busy social life is not possible for me.... I am just scared that eventually I will run back to him, because it is so easy for me. But it won't make me happy in the end. I am in the middle of remodeling my house so that will be very involving and occupy a lot of my free time, but I feel I should make some kind of change to my life to prevent going back to him, or filling the void with a new relationship.... I dont know, any ideas? What did you do to fill the gap?