dazed and confussed
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dazed and confussed
| Thu, 12-09-2004 - 5:53pm |
well let's see how do i start this off, well me and this guy just broke up about almost 5 months, dang it doesn't really seem that long ago well anyways we went out for a year and like 4 months are relationship sucked most of the time i mean he was controlling, and we would fight about everything and he never hit me but i know he tired a few times. When he got mad he would hit the wall and stuff and he would make sure he hit the wall like not even an inch away from my head. Well anyways the only reason why i'm writting is that i'm confused we broke up on good terms and then he started dating this other gurl and the only time he comes into my work is to show her off, or he thinks he's doing that. I wanna talk to him and give him the rest of his stuff but he wont talk to me. it told some of his friends to tell him to come get his stuff and so he sent his girlfriend into my work to ask me while i was working for his stuff, i smiled and said i don't care his stuff around with me then we she was at the door i yelled "hey becky tell justin not to send his b*tch in here to do his dirty work, and started laughing" i think i at least deserve some respect, i gave him a year and 4 months of my life and he can't even give me 5 min. Well all these guys wanna date me, but i just can't i get freaked out by them, i guess i just can't picture my self being that close to anyone again. or i think in the back of my head i think that if i start dating someone then he's going to want me back. i don't think i would go back to him, but i do miss the little stuff that we enjoyed, like holding hands having someone to tell everything too, just being loved (so i thought) i've never been on a date; so how can i push these feelings away or at least put them aside so i can move on and have fun. Someone please help; i don't know what to do. i just wanna be happy!!!! someone gotta be able to help!!

Okay you need to handle this with dignity and class. Put all his things in a box and take it to his house, drop it off on the doorstep and leave. To say anything, to act out in any way really just shows "Justin" that you aren't over him, that he holds this power over you and that parading his new gal "Becky" in front of you is working. Don't give him that. Don't give him your power.
"i think i at least deserve some respect, i gave him a year and 4 months of my life and he can't even give me 5 min."
He didn't respect you while dating you, why do you think he'd suddenly start showing you respect now?
"i've never been on a date"
!!!! WHAT? You two were together for almost a year and a half and you never went on a date!?
"so how can i push these feelings away or at least put them aside so i can move on and have fun"
You don't need to push them aside. Realize that the stuff you miss about him, has nothing to do with HIM and everything to do with the relationship. Holding hands and telling everything to is not exclusive to him, it's something any guy in the BF roll fulfills. You should be loved. You should be respected. You should NOT be in an abusive relationship. It doesn't sound like you've even admitted to yourself that you were in one. Say it, "I WAS in an abusive relationship but NEVER AGAIN!"
"i just wanna be happy"
You won't be happy unless you know what your own happiness is. What makes you happy? Don't settle for a man who doesn't make you happy. I think you need to take some time to evaluate yourself. You'll never be happy with someone else until you're happy with yourself.
Never again. Say it. "I deserve more, I deserve better. I will Never again be in an abusive relationship!"