dealing w. a breakup and it hurts
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| Fri, 04-20-2007 - 11:53pm |
Ok. so im feelin pretty down so i decided to come here and see if this makes me feel better. i just broke up w my boyfriend about 2 weeks ago and the first week after we talked a lot and still hung out and stuff but then he started to get distant and hasnt really been makin contact w me which was so hard for me bc im so used to having him around all the time. to be honest, i miss him a lot. i dont know why bc i know hes not the man of my dreams but he was just an all around nice, funny guy...never did anything bad to me.
And to make things worse- when i drink, i often will text him and it will just end up bad- he doesnt drink too much so he usually gets mad bc i always end up starting fights...or start to get really dramatic. its like i dont get to tell him how i feel when i am sober...when im sober, i act like everything is perfectly fine. So when i do get drunk, it all blows out of proportion and then i get upset and i wake up feeling like a jerk and im so embarassed. it happened again last night and i woke up and felt so terrible. i think this is the reason he doesnt wanna talk to me, bc i get all cracked out when i drink...which is like every thurs. it's bad and i know ur not supposed to call and blah blah- its so easy when im sober but when i drink it's hard. so today i send him an im and apologized-AGAIN and told him that ive just been having a hard time w everything. so it felt good to tell him what was goin on even though it probably made me look really weak and desperate-even though i'm not at all.
i'm sure we'll b friends again but i just have to accept that i cant talk to him for now or i will NEVER get over him. everytime i see him it just makes me want him more and thats certainly not what i want. i wish things had worked out different but they didnt and i have to accept that. i cant keep embarassing myself and seeming crazy when im drunk...ive already done it like 3 times and i wont do it again. i promise myself. ugh i just wish this pit in my stomach would go away and i wish i could snap my fingers and he'd be erased so i wouldnt constantly be thinking about him. any suggestions?
SORRY this is so long, i had to vent. thanks to anyone who took the time to read this. if ne of u ladies can relate, please respond- id like to hear from anyone goin thru the same thing, itd prob make me feel a lot better to kno someone is in the same shoes as me. have a good nite all.
B

Welcome to the board babybluez2007,
As nicely as possible, you need to stop drinking to get drunk and set aside some time each day to journal write to get in touch with your feeling while sober, the ones
Dearest Babybluez,
It's good to get all of your emotions out on the table. You are not alone in going through this. Everyone will tell you "time heals all" but it doesn't seem to help with today's pain. I have experienced everything that you wrote with my ex. The best way is to cut it completly with him. No commication. Take down every picture, anything that reminds you of him and put in a box. Tape the box shut and put it in the back of your closet. Start a feelings journal. The thing that helped me the most, was to write him letters.I would read them out loud to myself and then burn them. It really helped me. I felt like I could let it go. I avoided places that I knew that he hung out. The most important advice that I can give you is have sad moments, but don't make it sad days. I was so heartbroken that an old woman asked me a question, she asked " Do you think that he is sitting around crying over you?" My response "NO." And it clicked. That is what my motto was every morning. Believe in yourself. You deserve happiness and the best! Take care,
kbl