death in my boyfriend's family
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death in my boyfriend's family
| Thu, 09-16-2004 - 9:03pm |
My boyfriend's grandfather died this week. Later that same day, he told me something inside him had "snapped", he was no longer the same person, and that he had nothing else to give me (not that he ever gave me much). I figured it was the shock of losing someone in his family, and was nevertheless upset, but figured he needed some time to deal with the loss. Yesterday, he told me that he was serious about what he had said and that he didn't want me to come to the funeral. I took time off of work today to go to the wake, because I had known his grandfather, and when I went down the line, his family seemed grateful that I had come, and when I last go to my boyfriend, he closed his eyes, rolled his head back, and pretended I didn't exist, esentially dumping me (or so it appears) at his grandfather's wake in front of his family. I was appalled at his rudeness, and left crying. We have been dating for two years, and living together for one. What should I do? I am so angry at him I can barely see straight, and can't think this through clearly at the moment.

I think you did the right thing by going, and if he doesn't eventually realize that (I believe he will), then you did it for yourself because you felt is was right. Sometimes death does strange things to people, especially when they're so close to it. I would try, I know it's so painful I'm right there with you, but try to just give him his space. Don't contact him, let him heal. He will realize how much you cared, and he will appreciate that eventually, even if you two don't reconcile as a couple. I'm going through this with you, I don't know how to get through the days. My ex and I were together for 5 years with serious plans of marriage.
My boyfriend sounds somewhat similar. He took me to spend a weekend with some family member's last week and pretty much ignored me the entire weekend. Afterwards I just broke up with him. I reasoned that anyone who could treat me so badly in front of his family must either want to break up with me, not love me enough or just be crazy.
It sounds like you've just got to walk away from this one. His using the death as an excuse is really sad.