Depressed
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Depressed
| Mon, 01-10-2005 - 11:58am |
I'm in need of some help here.I found out just last night what a lying cheat my now ex boyfriend really is.The only sad part is he has torn my heart out or it feels that way.I had feeling he had been lying to me sometime about little things.But I never knew he was a cheat.He told me that he was going home last night which I felt in my heart was a lie.So I got myself a sitter for my boys and went to a local club where he use to hangout with all his buddies.Well I walked in and what did I see him and three of his buddies standing at the bar and "D" had his arm around some girl.He then kissed her on the cheek and they all toasted.And then his best friend seen me his face got white like he had seen a ghost ..."D" still didn't know I was there I stood in shock and then he looked at his buddy and then turned and looked at me.I started to run away and he grapped me to assure me it wasn't what I thought at all.He started to tell me this big long story about his buddy knew this girl.So I didn't nothing more than to ask his buddy and he couldn't look at me in the face all he could say is that he didn't want in it.Whats that tell you!!I told him that I couldn't take the lies and secerts anymore and that I would help him with his legal affairs being how he needed that.But it would only be for the purpose to save his job.That we were no longer together anymore.But now I'm feeling like really depressed b/c I loved him he was so good with my kids and they loved him as well.But how do I explain to my kids that he won't be around anymore?He called once last night to question where I was at and who I had been talking to after I told him it was over.I told him that he lost that right to ask me anything and that someday he would be sorry for what he did to me.Anways if I did the right thing why do I feel so bad inside?

That is a very hard part for me too. I have an 8-yr old and a 4-yr old and they really grew to like my xbf. They laughed and played with him. They would ask me when I would marry him. My oldest would say "you love him don't you?" That's something I don't really know either.....how to explain it all to kids and then they sometimes say things that makes the hurt worse unknowingly.
Kim