Devastated and Confused
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Devastated and Confused
| Mon, 12-20-2004 - 4:20pm |
My boyfriend is about to be deployed to Iraq for a year in 3 weeks and he told me the other day that he can't have a girlfriend right now because he's scared to death and filled with anger and depression. He also said that "we are not done for good, just taking a break right now" and that this was very hard for him to do. He said he's miserable and there's no way he can be around anyone. He wants to be selfish right now and that maybe when he gets back he'll have his head on straight again . I know he's been struggling for months about going to war. It terrifies him. I'm just devastated though. I don't know how to get through this or even how to think or feel. Feel sorry for him or be angry or both? I know he's also pushed his friends and family away and he's assured me it's not personal. As for now, I'm giving him his space, it's just hard. I love him and this breaks my heart on so many levels. Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated.

I can only imagine how painful this must be for you, but sometimes when you love someone you have to let them go. Try to put yourself into his shoes. He's going off to an uncertain future, not knowing if he will live or die. He simply cannot deal with having the added responsibility of being in a r'ship right now and having to deal with your caring and concern for him. You can be angry, of course, that's normal, but ultimately I think you will feel sorry for him, that he's not capable of accepting love into his life right now.
Sheri