Devistated and empty-my dreams are gone

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2007
Devistated and empty-my dreams are gone
6
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 2:18pm

The man I feel was a direct gift from God and an answer to all of my prayers has just broke up with me forever he says.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 2:54pm

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I understand your feelings because I felt EXACTLY the same way after I "blew" a relationship that I thought was the ONE AND ONLY, HEAVEN-SENT answer to my prayers. For months -- actually, more than a year -- my thoughts circled around in endless loops of self-blame. Eventually I came to see that my "clinginess" and "intensity" (the traits I felt had pushed him away) hadn't occurred in a vacuum. I had been clingy and intense because his own behaviour had never given me the security to relax. Yes, he acted loving and said loving things, but he also acted aloof and said disturbing things that made me doubt his long-term interest in me.

Remember that your behaviour occurred in response to his behaviour. I'll bet he didn't CONSISTENTLY behave in ways that made you feel secure. So you pushed harder in hopes of getting that sense of security -- a normal and unavoidable response.

Even if you don't feel it right now, trust me on this: he is/was not the only one for you.

Freelance

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 3:56pm

Thank you for maybe saving my relationship for another day- I am so sorry for you and I understand the "neediness".

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2007
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 5:14pm









re:

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2007
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 6:53pm

Missy,


Please

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Sun, 01-27-2008 - 8:42pm

That was sweet that you took the time to give me ALL of that information when you are in so much agony.


These boards ARE therapy and friends when you are down and out.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 01-28-2008 - 12:33pm

Welcome to the board just-hoping,


How long have the two of you been together?