Did I Act like a Psycho Ex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Did I Act like a Psycho Ex?
7
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:51pm

Hi, I have a question. Like most people who have just been dumped, I wonder if I behaved "nuts" or "psycho" during the breakup. This is what happened.

The breakup resulted in a big fight (no screaming, just heated discussion) and ended with him hanging up on me after I said I hated him. Later that night, I called him about 3/4 times (no answer) so on the last call I left a weepy message saying I was quitting my job, moving back home with my family and changing my #. He then texted me to stop calling, he was working. I text back that I just wanted to tell him I was moving and I would not "bother" him again. However, a few hours later I gave into myself and called him twice more (no answer) and then realizing he would not answer, text him one more time simply saying be well/good luck. I have been NC since.

In sum, my behavior consisted of about 10 phone calls/texts the day of the breakup, with that one weepy message. I am a very mellow person who barely ever raises her voice, so I could see how he would consider that behavior from me "psycho" especially the message. But on the other hand, I made no efforts past the one day, did ultimately text a nice goodbye of sorts and then gave up.

Please give honest opinions on whether you think I acted like such a crazyperson that he is thinking "What a lunatic. I will never call her again!" Any stories for comparision purposes would help too! Thanks -

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 3:04pm

No you are not..you are just a girl..
just look at this:
he broke up with me 2 weeks ago.i tought there is still some hope.today he told me there isnt any.i told him to get a hell out of apartment that i cannot look at him or be next to him after what he have done..he say fine and leave..2 hours im hating him and then again moment of weekness..im having phone in my hand and trying to resist.i call him..he is on seminar..i call again ..he hanges up..i send sms that it is importan.he send sms he cant anyway.i send sms :but it is veeerrry imortant and he finely answers.then i didnt have a clue what a say then just started to cry and ask him AGAIN is he sure and to give me a chance..well suprise suprise answer was the same and he hanged up..i was stupid to espect anything else.

all i can tell you is calling REEEALLY doesnt help.actually it makes things even worst!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 3:24pm
Hi waterworks, Psycho? No.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 3:25pm

Welcome to the board :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 3:36pm

Wow. Well, I can't deny that I hoped everyone would scoff and say "no ive heard much worse" and the guy did not think that etc/still called....but I guess thats not the case.

It is really quite humiliating to think that I, mellowest of the mellow, am now thought of by him as a raging lunatic! Now I have even more incentive to never contact him again a.k.a. complete humiliation about my behavior.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 3:41pm
Trust me there is worse....stalking, calling all his friends, getting others involved, breaking things, oh the list could go on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 12:37pm
I know just how you feel. I've posted a couple times hoping someone will be worse than I. Well, here ya go. I am the mellowest of the mellow as well. In fact the reason my boyfriend and I got along so well is that I never bothered him with anything that other girls did. When he broke up with me I just snapped, and I mean really snapped. I live with him and at first I would just have heated discussions with him about dating other girls. Then when he just kinda said oh well, I graduated to yelling matches which I normally would have never pictured myself doing. When he didn't respond to that I would cry and beg him to consider my feelings. It's been over a year now and we've slowly grown to not talking to eachother at all. I've tried to go back to being the cool girl and have been mortified about my behavior. But everytime I'm around him for an extended period *snap* I don't condone my behavior nor yours. We are mellow cool chicks who have gone against our gentle nature, for what? A couple of guys who broke up with us. If they liked us or wanted or valued us they would have never dumped us. So, take comfort like I do in the fact that there is MUCH worse. Stalking, calling friends, calling work, being vendictive, things you would never dream of doing. Someone got to you and you reacted emotionally. Next time don't and know that you wouldn't react that way in another situation. This person brings out a desperation in you because you love them. You're not psycho, you care and he doesn't so you can't relate. Now if only I could take my own advice.
"More and more it seems like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself."
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 03-05-2007 - 3:09pm

....."This person brings out a desperation in you because you love them.".....

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